You made the first step, physically, and enrolled into a self-defense class.
Feeling proud of yourself, but also a bit scared, you walk into the gym. Most probably it is all full of men, most probably the instructor is a man. “OK, cool, because a man will probably be the one I will be attacked by” you think to yourself. The class begins. An active warm-up, presentation of a threat, and a solution. “How will I remember this under stress?” you ask the coach. “It is a matter of practice. The more you practice, the better your skills will be” the coach answers. “OK, but … what do I do if I freeze? If I don’t remember? If I am too scared?” “Well”, the coach answers “you have to practice so many times that there will be no place for fear”.
Obviously, he has no idea what fear is. He also has no idea what it means to be a woman.
Being a woman means you will be a much more probable target for rape. It means you are ALREADY considered a weak and easy victim, because you are one (sorry to be in your faces like that, but it is true). It also means, that at a psychological level, when you are attacked your brain goes in millions of other directions, instead of the male brain that goes in….one. A woman’s brain can think seven thoughts all at once, while a male’s brain thinks one at the time. At a time of stress, you might be thinking about what you are going to make for lunch, your shopping list, your house work, your hair, the new eyeliner you wanted to get on the way, it is pay-day and so on. Meaning it will take you so much longer to react to real time danger, and to use your intuition properly to avoid that danger, so no amount of repetitions, tornado kicks and knees to the groin will help if your mind shuts down or even slows down.
It is very likely that your instructor doesn’t know that. Doesn’t even understand that. The understanding of the body as a unit of physical, mental and emotional components is not a common one, unfortunately,
Luckily, you have me to help you. Your mind is, and always will be, your strongest and undefeated weapon. There are so many ways to train it, to train yourself psychologically not to eliminate fear, but to work with it, as well as your memory, your inner power and your calm (most important to avoid panic). You can be the weakest, most unfit and unskilled person but with an oiled up mind and good situational awareness, not to mention the energy field you create around you by using your mind in a certain way, you will be much more likely to survive and even avoid certain situations, than a martial arts specialist.
To be honest, most people who actually practice martial arts are falsely confident and ruled by their ego, lacking the capacity to tune themselves to the situation mentally and psychologically, ending up badly injured or even dead in a street situation. As much as you can be a world champion fighter, there is not much you can do vs. a knife or gun attack, for example. But with the “correct” behavour and thinking, you can either avoid getting into danger in the first place, or talk your way into survival (NLP manipulating).
So what I am saying is, yes by all means train physically, make your body stronger and your skills better, but try to find a coach that understands the importance of mental training. If you can’t find one, or even combine with one, you can use my mental training methods with your class or within your every day activities. Remember that the only power that can never be taken away from you, is in your mind.