Ok so last month I told you about a situation that occurred and how I used the witness pool to help prevent me from going to jail. The plan was to write another article over the how and why of the matter to hopefully help you understand the science behind what you do to add this to your toolbox of violence. This is the fourth fucking rewrite and I am about ready to take this fucking keyboard out and blow this motherfucker up. SO fuck it this is what I got I am not a fucking scientist and I damn sure not college educated. What I am is a beat up old bouncer that survived 27 years in a business that eat souls and shits dreams.
What I also am is the most dirty and underhanded fucker to lace up a pair if steel toes. I will lie to drunks, use any information I can gather and basically play as dirty as I can to win, and by winning I mean I go home at night and hopefully no one dies. I left the business a little under a year ago for some health reasons and got talked into writing about this fucked up subject of self-defense.
Fuck it I went to the gym tonight banged out a set of widow-maker squats, came home drank some really good bourbon, sat down and here we go. Sit down shut up and hold the fuck on. We are going to talk reality in the US. I don’t know the laws where you live but I can tell you from talking to others in the business, things are as fucked up wherever you live as they are here. Used to you could swap skin, bust your knuckles on another guys head and no one called the law and no one got sued. Today with the pussification of mankind everyone wants to be a bad-ass but no one wants to shit teeth or spit blood. No they want to call the cops and twist everything up in court.
Here are two statements that can be made after an incident see if you can tell which of the two will get you taken straight to jail and which one will show reasonable doubt and show self-defense to the police.
Statement 1 “You’re goddamn right I kicked that pussies ass, I fucked his shit up! Told that mother fucker not to try his shit here or I was going to stomp his ass!”
Statement 2 “No officer I asked him to stop, I tried to walk away and he just kept coming at me trying to harm me. I didn’t want to hurt him but he wouldn’t stop. Is he ok? I just wanted to make him stop trying to hurt me.
If you picked statement 1 as your go to answer please do us all a favor and put a blindfold on then play catch in traffic. You are an idiot and should never get the chance to breed more of your stupidity into others.
If you picked statement 2 then we can work with that. You are the person I want to help with their fishing in the witness pool. Statement 1 is the one that will cost you a fortune in lawyer fees and possibly get your ass shanked in prison. Statement 2 give you the one thing that you are looking for when dealing with the police and with witnesses. Your narrative must make the individual feel sympathy for you.
If you read last month’s article you might remember that I said I went back to the people that followed the situation out to the parking lot. I also explained that I told them about the situation and how that this wasn’t the typical type of situation at the establishment. What I didn’t do was go into detail about what I said. Here is goes, imagine yourself as a witness to the occurence.
Guys I am so sorry that you saw that! This isn’t what goes on here, I tried to get him to just calm down and enjoy the night. I think he was going outside to use meth or something and he just wouldn’t stop acting up. I really am sorry you had to see this. Let me buy you a drink to apologize for you having to see this. Wow! Please we don’t normally have that kind of thing go on here. I can’t believe that he tried to head-butt the waitress and then tried to hit the manager and
me. I can’t believe that he acted that way! Here let me get the door for you. Y’all have a nice night and I will get you both that drink.”
Ok so what is your opinion now that the guy you saw use violence came up to you and apologized for you having to see it. Sympathy, if so good that is what I want you to feel. I want your sympathy. I want you to think Hey that isn’t a bad guy at all, he is just doing a hard job and that ass-hole he threw out deserved it. When you are fishing the witness pool this is exactly what you want to do. Notice how many time I apologized, how many times I reinforced my position to them that I
didn’t want to do this but his actions lead to the situation. Did you notice that I bought them a drink as a way of apology for them experiencing this. These are the type of thing that you need to think
about. How can I make my narrative more sympathetic to the ones that saw it. How can I make them see me as the good guy.
Funny thing about people is the way that they interpert what they see. Ask an experienced police detective how many people he or she has to interview to get a clear picture of what goes on, and also ask them why they separate the witnesses. What you are doing by talking to the person and making your case sympathetic, is explaining what they saw and why you were forced to do this. You must make yourself into the good guy. You must be able to articulate to the person in such a way as to make them want to help you out.
Come back next month for this ongoing clusterfuck of an article. Really should have tried to put this mother fucker in book form because there are a thousand things I want get across to you
Do me a favor guys I am looking for feedback good, bad or ugly about how I am doing. Like I said I am not a professional writer and this is all new for me.
Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org and let me know what you think