Is That Your Stiletto, Or Are You Just Happy To See Me? – Mirav Tarkka

There she goes, walking into the bar with her tiny skirt and 12 cm heels.

How can she even walk in them? Her hair swinging free down her back, her perfectly made up lips, colour matching her heels… all eyes turn to look at her as her perfume distracts even the sober men in the place, even the taken ones, even the  disinterested ones…. everyone but him.

He looks at her with possession. He wants to own her, own her body, take away all her power to feed his. He walks up to her and firmly grabs her wrist. Looking at him surprised, almost entertained, she releases her wrist, twists his arm behind his back, brings him down to his knees then flat on his stomach…. when he begs her to let go of his arm, because his shoulder is about to pop out, she laughs, whispers something extremely clever to him, stands up and places her nail hard stiletto on his back while he cries in pain. She then walks away, flicking her hair behind her shoulder and redoing her lipstick without even looking at a mirror.

That is how you imagine it, don’t you?

Well, the reality is totally different. In reality, you would be the one on the floor, probably trip over yourself, slipping on a wet surface, breaking your heel and – if you are lucky enough to be able to run away with your heels – causing damage to your feet and spine. You will look anything but sexy, believe me. “But what are the chances this can happen to me?” you might be thinking to yourself.

Actually, pretty high.

If you wear heels on your way to work, if you wear heels walking the streets alone,  if you are like me and wearing heels for you is just painful, you can’t wait to kick them off and they just make you clumsy and slow,  you are at higher risk.

Or maybe you are like these rare few girls I know who can actually run a marathon with their heels on, perhaps even run backwards! But still, if you can run away fast from your aggressor with heels, imagine how fast you can run with flat shoes?

Are you more likely to slip on a wet or oily surface, or trip over your face when faced with an MMA trained aggressor (always assume your aggressor is very well trained!) when you are wearing sports shoes that are made to prevent slipping (look at their surface!) or when you are wearing a heel with a surface of 1sq/cm “nail”?

I mean, look around you when you are in public. I, personally, am amused to see how women walk like ducks, looking completely uncomfortable, with plasters on their blisters, just to be seen in heels.

Personally, when I see a woman comfortable in her skin, I think that is extremely sexy, and not someone who needs to lean on someone else (or on the wall) to even stand stable!

Now, if you are an aggressor, who would you choose? Someone who is stable, or someone who if you “huff and puff and blow the house down” they fall on their face without any effort? 😀

“But”, you might tell me, “I can use the heel as a weapon”.

Yes, you can.

So your homework will be to practise taking your heel off while jumping/staying stable on the other stilettoed foot, placing it correctly in your hand and hitting the aggressor in places that “matter” (to be short, face or joints) without the heel breaking into your hand, breaking at all or you slipping backwards.

You´d better have steel heels too, the leather ones don’t do the job!

Yes, if you are in a ground position kicking the aggressor in the face or in his kidneys with your heels would do a great job. But honestly, any shoe would do a great job, with a good kick! And dont forget, you wont just stay there to have a conversation with the guy. You have to get up, and run away, get to a safe place (even if he seems dead J ). Again, how far can you get with your heels? Or if you take them off, can you run barefoot? Geting your feet cut by stones, glass, maybe it has been raining, maybe you are in a rocky place…

There is another half-way solution, though. Here come the good old 90’s platforms to save us, shortie ladies! Add 12 cm to your height,  while still having the base surface of a “normal” shoe. Still, even there, the safe grip on your ankle is not the best. I have twisted my ankle numerous times wearing platforms when I was a 15 year old party girl.

WAKE UP LADIES. It is where the fairy tale ends, that the real story begins.

Look, I am a woman too. And I like to look sexy and sleek too,  but my safety comes first. So, when I do rarely wear heels, I put them on at the last moment, in the car (not in the parking place!), in the office,  even in the bathrooms.  I don’t risk it!

As my promo pictures have me wearing high heels and boxing gloves, I got numerous messages from couples wanting to try some “kinky” …. let’s call it intimacy, involving self-defense moves. I get it, totally, I do. And it can be fantastic… in the bedroom!  Photos, movies, Charlie’s Angels….. all that isn’t reality. Your safety is.

You need to think about these things in advance. You need to be able to protect yourself AT ALL TIMES, night or day, alone, at your work place, in the street, in the club, in your car… always.

Dress to kill.

And be smart; that’s sexy.

Lots of love,


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