Author: Erik Kondo

The Threat of Violence: That Isn’t Really a Threat …, Part II – Marc MacYoung

Read part one

I guarantee you when you watch the video in chunks you’re going to see what we will be talking about now; especially because the people who are screaming loudest about the ‘victims of violence’ are often—if not overwhelmingly—the ones who are being the most violent and aggressive. They are using the threat of violence right up until the moment they lose the fight. Yes, you read that right. It’s a fight.  Not the one sided assault they planned on.

Then in a predictable strategy, they flip into victim mode. Not a loser, but a victim. But to sell this victim idea requires a little three-card monte with definitions and excuses. Specifically distracting you from their actions and focusing your attention on what someone else did.

For example, in the original story there was no mention of the alleged groping. That only appeared when it was pointed out that she hit someone before being pepper sprayed. Some sources overlook it while decrying the violence of the rally attendees. Still others mention the grope, but don’t  even show video of her claiming it happened. Why? In that video, there’s a significant lag between her accusation and the strike. Now mind you, this is just the accusation. There no released recording of the touch, in what context it happened or—if it happened— the time in-between touch and the accusation. (What don’t they want you to see?)

Basically, the story changes and is edited to maintain her victim status no matter what—in fact, it double downed on victimhood by playing the ‘sexual assault’ card. If you’re pulling a three-card monte and someone does bring up the hit, you can claim it was ‘self-defense’ over being groped. They’re not the violent ones. Just ask them. They’ll look you in the eye and tell you that.

This brings us to: What is violent behavior? Don’t answer that that yet. I’m about to melt your mind.

In my book In The Name of Self-Defense, I talk about the road of violence.  If you’re on this road, you’re being violent. The question is: How far down the road are you? I use this analogy to show the lower the number on the mile markers equal what you’re doing is subtle verbal and emotional violence. It gets louder and more aggressive as you go farther down the road (higher mile markers). You can be incredibly verbally and emotionally violent without ever throwing a punch. Then it gets to physical (even higher numbers). What a lot of people don’t realize is exactly how much more road there is past simple hits. It gets really ugly past that. (Remember, I’m the guy who asks, “How many parts was the body found in?”) This model doesn’t allow for three card monte with definitions. As much as people want it, there is no ‘past this point it’s violence and bad, but before then it’s not—so it’s okay.’ Or as I say, “It’s not on the road to violence. There is no ‘Violence City Limits’ or ‘Now entering Violence.’ If you’re on that road, it’s violence, plane and simple.”

I came up with this road idea because of deniers first declaring “violence is bad” and then excusing their own behavior. They deny they’re being violent through redefining violence to mean: Any level of force beyond which I am comfortable using to get what I want. Or it’s violence when the same level is used back against them (a.k.a., It all started when he hit me back). Hence my comment about ‘Violence City Limits’ They’ll speed up and down the lower mile markers, but as long as they don’t cross some subjective line they’re certain they are not being violent—no matter what they are doing, up to and including punching you.

When it’s laid out like this, you don’t have to be the sharpest crayon in the box to spot the BS of this position. When someone is pulling it on you, however, it can be a lot harder to spot. Well okay it’s more of a shock that someone can spit in your face then claim that wasn’t violence, but your reaction was. What’s amazing is how many people sincerely believe this. They don’t feel they are lying because this is their subjective truth. Their conviction is part of the con. But to truly get how this three card monte works, you need to know something.

Humans, as a species are amazingly nonviolent.

Forget all the hyperbole. We’re really not that violent. A comparison: After a lifetime of violence (including it being my profession), I can tell you that my cat has killed more, been in more life-and-death situations, and fights than me—or anyone reading this article.

See we humans are far, far better communicators. That’s why we can usually avoid using physical violence.

Having said that, we use the threat of violence all the time! Wait, what? To a species so strongly married to communication, the threat of violence is a lot more effective persuader than carrying through. Whether you call it threat displays or display aggression, we routinely communicate the threat of physical attack to people through body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, word choice, and behavior. Usually we only do this when we’re emotional, but always as a strategy to get what we want. When we’re yelling, making faces and swinging our arms, that’s not an attack. It’s saying, “I’m not attacking, but I might.” It’s the threat that violence is close. That is communication! Inherent in this threat is ‘unless you do what I want.’ Whether that’s stop what you’re doing, start doing what I want, go away, get back into your place or shut up; those depend on the goals of the individual doing the threatening, intimidation, or coercion.

This threat is usually a bluff to get the other person to fold. Violence is dangerous, and we could get hurt if things go physical. As such, we really don’t want to risk it. But in order for it to be an effective bluff, the person has to believe the danger is real and immediate. This bluff gets us the benefits of physical violence without having to actually do it. With the threat of violence being so significant, the road of violence takes on a whole new meaning. We’re ‘playing chicken’ down that stretch of road.

You would think this would be the sole domain of ignorant knuckle-draggers. It isn’t. Some of the worst offenders are people who claim to be intelligent, civilized, and nonviolent—but most of all passionate about a noble cause. That’s the loophole Gloria Steinem identified when she said, “From pacifist to terrorist, each person condemns violence—and then adds one cherished case in which it may be justified.”

Some will become aggressive at the wrong word. With this cherished cause as their justification, these bullies are wound up and just waiting for a green light to go off on someone. They’ll threaten you with physical violence as they verbally, emotionally, and socially attack you for your ‘wrong think.’ But as long as they don’t physically strike you, they’ll claim they weren’t being violent—no matter how much they acted as though they were about to become physically violent. Violence is bad, and they can’t be violent because they’re good people. (Besides even if they cross that line, they’re doing it in the name of a good cause.)

This hostile and threatening behavior is what you’re going to be seeing in the five-second chunks. (Remember them?) These chunks reveal a heavy reliance on the threat of violence. They’ll also destroy the credibility of the denial and victimization. Threatening violence … it’s a simple concept, but damn is it an important one.

But let me add another caveat here. While the threat of violence is usually more effective than actual violence in the civilized world, denying you’re doing it is a big part of the strategy. This denial is a very big part of what makes this crazy-making behavior (gaslighting if you know the term). Sometimes they actually believe they’re not being violent. Most of the time, they’re so emotional they don’t care. Sometimes there is deliberate malice hiding behind the righteous cause. They know exactly what they are doing, and they’re getting off on it.

People who routinely use this strategy—simply stated—are bullying. They’re using the threat of violence to get their way. As such, they have to engage in aggressive and hostile behavior to be credible. For the strategy to work, they have to look like they really do mean to attack (usually by acting out of control). You have to believe you are about to be attacked. At the same time, they’re walking a very fine line. A line consisting of four issues:

One, they have to very selective who they use it on. Basically, these bullies know not to pull these aggressive acts on people who won’t wait for it to reach self-defense before acting. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) members will paint bomb rich women wearing fur coats, but they have a consistent track record of not trying the same on bikers in leather jackets. They know they are playing outside to rules of society

Two, it’s a fine balancing act between looking like you’re going to attack and going too far. When the threat doesn’t work, often the response is to turn up the volume. Often this increased intimidation works; people back down and let them have their way.

At the same time, they often goof, crank it up too much and WHAM! The increased hostility either
 a) convinces the target there’s an immediate danger (and he reacts out of perceived self-defense) or
 b) the aggressor crosses the line.

Thing about the last is they really have pushed it too far. While a biker will punch you quick, you have to work to get slugged by a Lutheran minister. People have their limits.

Three is … well … weird. That’s how often these bullies actually attack. The reason it’s weird is it’s more of a bluff. It is not a committed or continuing attack It’s not intending to injure. It’s an escalation of threat. Their strike is more of a “See? See how far I am willing to go? I’ll attack again if you don’t _____ (fill in the blank)!”

Look at the protestor in the videos. After yelling and aggressing didn’t work, she hit. But she didn’t continue or blitz the person she attacked. This gave the sprayer time to raise, aim and fire.

Four, they get out of there before the cops are called or the folks turn against them. Generally speaking, the real virtue points of this behavior occur when the person skeddadles back to the social group that supports this behavior. There over flasks of organic microbrew beer or vegan wine, they regale other social justice warriors with the tale of their bravery, fearsome foes overcome, and great injustices battled. While that sounds silly, remember many of them do consider themselves ‘warriors.’ Just like gang members boasting about drive-by shootings, there’s a lot of status gained and bragging rights over these acts. Although in some circles getting arrested for the cause is a coup for one’s status as it shows your dedication.

This brings us to an interesting crossroads. While you will never hear a peep about this behavior when the threatening works—oh is there a wailing and gnashing of teeth when there is a violent response. Now they are martyrs for the cause. Except unlike real martyrs, they don’t die. They switch into victim mode. It is essential when their hostility backfires that the bully quickly changes the narrative into how he or she is the victim of unjust violence … ad nauseam. If it’s not them banging the drum, it’s someone else wailing about the violence their enemies are capable. (An innocent fifteen-year-old girl was groped and pepper sprayed by  those evil . . .) This lends righteousness and outrage to their cause. It’s also very important you be prepared for this flip.

Despite doing everything in their power to convince you they were about to attack you—if you respond physically, you are the bad guy for believing their actions. Another version is they that weren’t threatening you, they were just expressing their opinions. You are not only condemned for not knowing they weren’t going to attack, but now you interfered with their freedom of speech. But most of all, neither you—nor anyone else—is supposed to notice they were attempting to intimidate you through the threat of physical violence and that especially means the cop arresting you.

Recognize the game they are playing. If you don’t react, they get to abuse you. If they can bait you into reacting they win. That is why you have to be able to counter the accusations that you attacked them. You have to be able to articulate why their behavior led you to reasonably believe they were attacking. I hope that in teaching you how I do violence reconstruction, I’ve armed you against this strategy.

This is why it is critical to call them on their use of violence and their constant threat of violence. If that person’s behavior is critically reviewed (like say in five-second chunks), it quickly becomes obvious there is a disconnect between the victim narrative and what actually happened.

Although I’ve ruined the incident used in this article, they’re easy to find. Now that you have this process, go out and watch some other videos. You’ll see how often bullying and threatening violence are used by those outraged about violence. When you can do that, you’ll start seeing that gorilla walking across the screen and just smile instead of punching it.

 

Your Self-Defense Training a Stalled “A Lie-To-Children”? – Erik Kondo

Note: This article is a continuation of last month’s article on the Red, Green, Grey, and Blue Zones model for self-defense training.

A Lie-To-Children is defined as “a phrase that describes a simplified explanation of technical or complex subjects as a teaching method for children and laypeople.”

There are four main categories of self-defense training. Almost all self-defense training can be described by one or a combination of them.

Three of them can be thought of as Lies-To-Children, only one of them is not.

The first two of these have the positive effect of helping students deal with low level violence that is unlikely to escalate into high level violence. But this type of training doesn’t provide its students with the means to differentiate between potential low and high level violence. And the means to avoid and deal with high level violence.

The third focuses on high level violence, but it also doesn’t provide the means to differentiate between low and high level violence. It also doesn’t provide knowledge on how to avoid and deal with the aftermath of violence.

Only the fourth deals with the multiple aspects of avoiding a variety of levels of violence, differentiating between the levels, dealing with the levels, and the resulting aftermath.

Fortunately, Lies-To-Children can be used as starting points. The provide a basic, but flawed understanding that can be reworked and expanded into deeper understanding.

The Four Categories

  1. Empowerment Based Self-Defense is really about giving people permission to physically fight back (reversing their passive social conditioning). It uses the person’s natural capabilities which is encouraged through Green Zone training.

It can be identified by its use of positive feedback for all self-defense actions regardless of how ineffective the actions actually would be against a determined attacker. The goal is to make the student feel “empowered”.

What it doesn’t do is:

  • Give students the knowledge to recognize, avoid, and assess danger. (Grey Zone).
  • Give them the actual physical skills to deal with a serious assault. (Red Zone)
  • Give them an understanding of the aftermath of violence (Blue Zone).

2. Martial Arts Based Self-Defense is about developing physical skills and spiritual qualities to deal with violence through Green Zone training.

It can be identified by its use of repetitive physical training of “fighting” techniques to build mastery. This is commonly (incorrectly) thought of as “muscle memory”.

What it doesn’t do is.

  • Give students the knowledge to recognize, avoid, and assess danger. (Grey Zone).
  • Give them the actual physical skills to deal with high level violence. (Red Zone).
  • Give them an understanding of the aftermath of violence (Blue Zone)

 

3. Combat Based Self-Defense is about focusing on relatively rare situations of high level violence and the use of lethal force usually done through Green Zone training.

This type of training can typically be identified by its kill or be killed attitude for all levels of violence for civilians.

In the best case, this type of training provides the student the means to deal with limited types of high level violence. In the worst case, it provides only the illusion of having the means to deal with high level violence.

In both cases, what it doesn’t do is.

  • Give students the knowledge to recognize, avoid, and assess danger. (Grey Zone).
  • Give them the means to deal with low level violence. (Usually Green Zone)
  • Give them an understanding of the aftermath of violence (Blue Zone)

These first three categories have much in common and a few differences. Their approaches are different. But in many respects they all end up in the same place.

What “stalled” means

What the above types of training do is to provide a starting point for future comprehensive self-defense training. But only if the student is willing to recognize the stalled nature of his or her current training. Stalled training is incomplete training that no longer advances. There are flaws and gaps in it. For students to move forward, they must acknowledge they are stalled and be open to expanding upon their current knowledge and training system.

This training can be thought of as a foundation that can be built upon. But only after certain aspects of it are removed and rebuilt.

  1. Comprehensive Self-Defense training that is not a stalled Lie-To-Children is made up of the understanding of:
  •  Recognizing, Avoiding, and Assessing all levels of violence. (Grey Zone)
  • Dealing with the legal, ethical, and other societal aftermath of violence. (Blue Zone)
  • Dealing with high level violence, the Fear Response, and other associated behavioral issues. (Red Zone)
  • Dealing with low level violence, not escalating it into high level violence, the associated behavioral issues, and more. (Green Zone)

The above areas can also be described by Rory Miller’s 7 Aspects of Self-Defense, the Hand of Self-defense training as described by Marc MacYoung, and the prevention, intervention, and mitigation of aspects of my 5D’s of Self-defense. It really doesn’t matter what model you use, also long as all the elements are included.

 

Interview with Ed Calderon, Part I – Terry Trahan

Ed Calderon is a security specialist and combatives instructor from Northern Mexico.

He is also the General Director for Libre Fighting in Latin America.

He has become popular through his FaceBook page, Ed’s Manifesto, and is a very accomplished teacher in unconventional self defense and security.

On a personal note, he is also my friend, and we collaborate and teach together, and I can not give a higher recommendation than I do for him.

TT: Hi Ed, can you please give us a brief bio and background for our readers that may not be familiar with you?

Sure. I was born in Tijuana Mexico where I grew up. Tijuana is a bit of a cultural diversity bomb so I was exposed to American popular culture from a very early age and it influenced me deeply. I had an eventful young life, and got into a lot of trouble growing up in such a place. I can’t complain about it, it truly was a  very free and wonderful place to grow as a person. It had good and bad things about it, all of them made me grow.

I spent a lot of time traveling throughout Mexico and in the US after I turned 18. Wandering a bit, with no clear idea about what to do with my life. After eventually coming back to my hometown of Tijuana for the holidays I saw an interesting article in the paper about a career opportunity in government work. That led me into over a decade of work in the fields of counter narcotics, executive protection and some crossborders work. During all this time, I made an effort to take any training opportunity I could get and learn what I could by observing and collecting case study material and any criminal methodology I came across.

I started take one the role of Instructor at an internal level within the operations groups I worked with. Seeing a need for edged weapons material for my group I went looking for methodologies I could fit into their training. I went around the block as far as systems that dealt with edge weapons. Finally found Libre Fighting System trough Scott Babb. One seminar with him and I was sold.

A year later him and me where training a few special police units down in Mexico and we started getting loads of after action reports and feedback from students down there. The violent climate in the region offered us a golden opportunity to actually field test concepts and material in a very real laboratory. Edged weapons, counter custody, urban survival, criminal methodology, reverse engineering it all started to come out of this cross border relationship between Scott Babb and my self. That was my start.
TT: What are your main combatives influences, and what makes them meaningful to you?

I have a base in Thai Boxing, this basically taught me how to move and take a punch. Honestly, the sparring element this has is a thing of value. This and it made me open my eyes to weaponizing elbows and knees.

Libre Fighting System’s basically gave me a very analytical approach to weapons and violence in general. We did not take anything for granted and tested everything against multiple opponents, adding Stress Modifiers, confined spaces, etc. Knife disarms were the first delusion this system killed in me. Libre gets more taken out of it each year. It’s constantly being streamlined. Each outing we teach in a new place, let’s us see different uses of Knives or criminal methodology that we then bring back, refine and see if it can be used for our own means. It’s an ever evolving monster. It’s a blade system coming out of the border region that has found its way in to Indonesia and the Philippines. I think this says a lot about it.

I was exposed to South African movement indirectly through Scott Babb that shared some of it with me, having previously hosted a Piper guardian for what was at the time one of the first seminars of that system in California.

I contacted Nigel February ( it’s founder ) and got a glimpse into some of its reasoning for being and what it came from. It really influenced my way of formulating my personal methodology and the way I move. The mentality it tries to instill in the practitioner is what I think is often overlooked in this specific skill set.

Through the job, I was exposed to many individuals with different skill sets and abilities. Some criminal in origin, some military. All of these got into what I do and teach.  

And finally. Though a person that doesn’t like recognition, I learn a very specific and traditional way of utilizing my hands and feet that for lack of a better word turned out to be tilted Atra Manus. It’s not my creation. All I did was try and mold it into a teaching experience. Those who have been exposed to it can tell,

 

TT: Why did you start the Manifesto, and what is the mission you hope to accomplish through both your writing and teaching?

The name comes from a stack of moleskin notebooks I keep detailing everything I have come across that I think is of value to my own personal development in this whole subculture of urban survival, escapology and combatives.

It’s basically an open and free outlet of information that some have kept off limits. I share nothing that I haven’t seen in some way shape or for out there in criminal hands. It really is at its core, an exercise in the free dispersal of information and a window into what I’m up to. It’s a personal blog. I don’t sell anything through it and promote what I love, trust and stake my life on as far as products, instructors and methodology.

 

TT: I know you worked with the security forces in Mexico, what got you into that line of work, and were there any incidents that encouraged you to teach civilians?

I like getting into trouble. What better place to do so than by joining what was at that time the most high risk profession on the planet. Being a police officer in Mexico.

It gave me a lot experience. Some of it just incomparable to anything else in the world. It gave me a very unique perspective on how to go about solving problems.

I started to work a lot of cases dealing with abduction. And it’s a problem that touched something deep with in me. I knew there was a need for a no BS aproach to train people to deal with this problem.

I saw Americans coming down to Mexico teaching military SERE training to civilians that made little to no sense to the actual endemic problem and some Israeli ex military guys doing the most alien Krav Maga infused E&E classes I have ever seen. I knew I had to come up with a very Mexican approach to the problem, taking in to account the realities and limitations a civilian has here. That was my start.

 

TT: Environment is a very big factor in determining effectiveness of a fighting method. Could you describe for our readers the environment in Mexico, and how that formed your outlook?

It’s very non permissive. Threats come from police and criminals. It’s not all bad, there are pockets of dangerous places in the country.

Civilians cannot carry firearms and that limits the options most have. And even conventional tactical folders can get you jail time if found by an uneducated cop ( very common down here sadly). So in many ways students of mine have learned to live as criminals of purpose ( as I like to call them). The tools they carry for self defense are non descript ditchable kitchen knives for example. Not because they are going to murder someone and don’t want to be caught. But because they want to be able to carry something with plausible deniability built in to it and if the see a possible police inspection, they can toss the blade without losing much in terms of money.

They have to be very crafty. They can’t just go on line and by stuff. Most of thier counter custody tools are home made for example. It’s a very interesting place that has given birth to a lot of creativity.

Part II will be in the next issue.

 

Burnout – Jeffrey Johnson

The first 2 times I attempted to write this piece, I couldn’t. Writing about the burnout I had experienced literally brought back the brain fog, the emotionally drained state of mind that dragged my body down with it, the ocean of grief and guilt I was drowning in during the worst months and years of my life.

In late 2011, I was working in a dysfunctional behavior school, separated from many of the teacher-counselors from my previous school who I viewed as family. This included my teaching partner Callahan, who became a brother and best friend through some really great and difficult times. I was feeling out of place, angry, and disrespected by the leadership of the organization for various reasons.

Then, in October, my maternal grandmother suffered a major stroke that paralyzed her on the left side of her body. We’d grown much closer after the passing of my mother in 2009, and all the grief I’d swallowed down so I could function during mom’s death was resurfacing uncontrollably in the ER and eventually the ICU of Hillcrest Hospital, watching with uncertainty while my gentle and loving Gramma was hanging on by a thread. By Thanksgiving, I found myself in a depressed stupor and barely able to talk.

By day I was getting cursed out, roughed up in physical restraints, and generally extremely frustrated by problematic leadership and in the evenings I was watching my grandmother’s body and mind betray her bit by bit. I remember when her dementia started, when she had confused me with my younger brother. I thought this was her usual confusion of my name with my brother’s or my uncle’s name. It wasn’t. She really thought I was Micah and she realized it. “Oh Lord, I’m losing my mind…” It was like another knife in an already gaping emotional wound.

To top it all off, I’d failed at romance once again and descended into a spiral with self medication. Every evening I lived in a cloud until bedtime. I stopped hanging out with most of my friends and wasn’t returning calls. When I did talk to them and they asked how I was doing, I was always “fine man, I’m good.”

I was dealing with grief, trauma, loneliness, financial hardship, and embarrassment that I couldn’t get things to work right. Eventually, I was burned out.

Burnout feels just like it sounds. It’s like your insides are literally charred and smoldering-your brain, your lungs, your heart, your gut. It feels like your whole Self is balled up and buried under layers of confusion and loss.

Eventually I retreated into the computer room as a daily routine. I drank and smoked and escaped into random YouTube videos and whatever else you find on the interweb once the rabbit-hole has sucked you in.

The shame you experience makes it really difficult, because you won’t reach out for help, or talk to someone about how you are feeling, for the most part. It wasn’t until a couple of friends were hearing how bad a time I was having and suggested I take leave from work that I decided to talk to anyone. I had to talk to a counsellor and get assessed in order to request FMLA, which I ended up not needing since I had so much sick-time left to use.

If you see yourself in what I just described, you are burnt out and it is affecting your work and your social life. It is making you hard to live with. It is sucking all the motivation out of you and making you a slave to your problems. It’s causing you to be complacent about your health, your finances, your long term goals and dreams. I’m not blaming you at all. I just want you to be real about how badly this is crushing you. I want you to pull out of the nosedive.

You have probably lost interest in things you used to enjoy. You probably lose patience quicker than you used to. You probably feel like there’s nothing you can do to change work, or home, or whatever other situation there is. You are probably doing a lot of escaping into nostalgia, trying to get a hold of feelings from a bygone time when things were easier (Youtube videos of old Transformers episodes was where I went. My mother used to like to watch that with my brother and I). Escaping is probably making you ignore some very real obligations like paying college loans or doing cleaning around the apartment. You are literally sick right now. You need to get healthy and you need to be proactive and assertive about that.

We work in crisis. We see blood, urine, feaces and phlegm. We get screamed at and threatened, experiencing the vicarious trauma that comes with dealing with traumatized clients and mental health consumers. Our bodies crash into other bodies, bone hitting bone and flesh twisting and skin rubbing off on concrete. We examine the scars we get in the mirror and try to sort out the thoughts and feelings. And we are expected to bounce right back from every episode like we aren’t affected. We see things that we can’t unsee. We often feel like no one could relate to our stories. That is sometimes the case. We have to be aware that it’s easy to martyr ourselves and that being a martyr is not heroic. It’s messing up your access to a life that has a lot of beauty and goodness in it.

It’s making you sloppy on the job as well. People are counting on you to keep them safe, whether they are your colleagues, clients, or the general public. You have to operate within very strict protocols on the job-program rules, state and federal laws,Medicaid billing, etc. If you are getting sloppy you can make a career ending mistake, or a mistake that gets you or someone else hurt or killed. If you find yourself not caring, you need to step away.

You are going to have to do some things you might not normally do or have never done before.

Go camping. Start taking yoga. Paint. Write poetry. Find a support group and talk to other people who know what you are going through. Eat whole foods. GET ENOUGH SLEEP. Take walks often. Go to the art museum. Visit friends and family you don’t often get to see. GET ENOUGH SLEEP. Drink more water. Go hear a live band. If you are religious at all, find a good house of worship with a good community. GET ENOUGH SLEEP.

I bet everything I suggested is stuff you already know to do.

When you are burnt out you get stubborn. You’re stubborn because you feel like that will protect you. You are in survival mode, and survival mode is only good for dealing with imminent danger. You do anything that confirms the world view that nothing can change, that all is basically lost. It’s basically emotional self-harm. You make statements and engage in behaviors that perpetuate the burnout. You know you are doing it, too. You have to interrupt it. You have to do something new. It will be uncomfortable at first, mainly because you are challenging your own personal reality, the story you tell yourself about who you are and what the world is like. You are confronting all the terrible things you tell yourself because of the terrible things you have endured.

Don’t self-medicate as a long-term strategy, it doesn’t work. Don’t rely on a new lover to rescue you from your thoughts and feelings, you’ll be sorely disappointed if they let you down. Also, if you attract someone in that state, you are probably attracting someone going through the same stuff. That’s a lot of unhealthy stuff in a relationship. Don’t stay up til 3am every night. The lack of sleep is making you more depressed, and it’s messing with your metabolism. Don’t isolate yourself. Don’t stick it out at a job if you don’t have to. Don’t stay indoors all-day, everyday. Don’t ignore it when your friends and family tell you they are worried about you. Don’t avoid sunshine and fresh air.

Again-you know all of this. You have to get proactive. You have to make the changes.

I don’t self-medicate at all any more. I workout every other day. I am stretching my hands into as many spaces for training in and teaching martial arts and self defense as I can so I can do what I love and earn cash in the process. I am staying close to people with high energy and lots of ambition. I’m not trying to press religion on anyone, but for me that helps to order my existence and have something firm to stand on when everything else feels like it’s going haywire (it usually just feels that way). I get outside when the sun is shining as much as I can. I take B Complex vitamins and Omega 3 supplements. I drink lots of water. I get lots of rest. I hang out with friends who keep encouraging me to be my best self. Otherwise that burnout from 5 years ago will creep back into my consciousness again, wreaking havoc on my internal process and progress. Life is not perfect, but I’m more clear headed about what I can do to make the best of what I have. I feel the bad stuff resurfacing every few days, but I’m a lot better at pushing past it to do something-anything-productive and healthy.

You know this stuff. And if you didn’t know, I hope this gives you some ideas so that you can manage your burnout and rise above it.

What I experienced cost me relationships, shot holes in personal goals, and left me feeling like a loser. If this is where you are, you have power to change it. It may take a gargantuan effort. It may take a longer time than you planned. It may guide you in completely different directions than you planned. That’s fine. Be open to the process. It’s ok to have weaknesses. It’s ok to fail. It’s not ok to quit on yourself. Burnout convinces you it’s over, or close to over. But you still have power. Use it.

ARE YOU THE WEAK LINK? – Mark Hatmaker

 

 First, let’s set the stage. The following quote is an extract from Narrative of the Most Extraordinary and Distressing Shipwreck of the Whale-Ship Essex by First-Mate Owen Chase. In 1820 Chase was aboard the ill-fated ship that was attacked and sunk by a sperm whale (the basis for the fictional account Moby-Dick by Melville.) The survivors spent 95 days at sea in harrowing conditions and ultimately cannibalism was relied upon to survive.

I offer the below extract and the commentary to follow for a very specific purpose.

“I found it on this occasion true, that misery does indeed love company; unaided, and unencouraged by each other, there were with us many whose weak minds, I am confident, would have sunk under the dismal retrospections of the past catastrophe, and who did not possess either sense or firmness enough to contemplate our approaching destiny, without the cheering of some more determined countenance than their own.”

First, note there is no bitterness or burden detected in that honest observation by Mr. Chase. Just a stark relation of fact-some people rely upon others to get them through the very same circumstances all are currently facing.

Those among us who have this “determined countenance” are the heroes of the world, they have the grit and determination to do what must be done, when it must be done, and often they must do so with the, and let’s call a spade a spade here, they must do it with the additional burden of taking up fellow victim’s slack.

They must do their job, pull their weight, and perhaps that of others all the while playing a bit of cheerleader for those less adapted/willing/prepared to step up.

Lest anyone think I am being too harsh here, keep in mind Mr. Chase and everyone else are all in the same boat-literally. At this point in time all are equals in adversity but there is some tangible difference indeed.

Now, it just may be that possession of a “determined countenance” is an inborn quality that we may simply have or have not in varying degrees, but I do not think this is the case.

Training and acclimatization seem to shape the human being in so many fields of endeavor I fail to see how we cannot expect that we can grow and expand our own capacities for a “determined countenance.”

Our bodies respond to exercise, our minds respond to education, our spirits respond to edification-perhaps our resolve, our survival prospects can and do also respond to training.

It is important to note that I am not referring to survival adeptness in regard to survival knowledge in the “prepper” sense. While such knowledge can be a plus, we have enough accounts of those with an excess of such knowledge folding when it hits the fan to assume that simply “tactical smarts” is the key. We also have exceedingly numerous accounts of men, women, and children with little to zero hands-on survival training who somehow do just that, survive and in retrospect thrive.

So, yes, survival know-how is a net-positive but it seems to not be the key. Any cursory view of reality shows such as Naked and Afraid highlights this fact that, while all have survival abilities to some degree, the can-do, cheerful, “let’s do this together” individuals do far better than the dour loners or complainers.

Once IT hits the fan, whether that IT be an avenging sperm whale, a catastrophic terrorist attack, or a mild fender-bender we stand in better stead if we are surrounded by proactive calm can-do people who know how to work as a team and take up slack. Nothing (NOTHING) is made easier by adding any additional burden onto an already stressful event-whether that burden be lack of effort, lack of spirit, lack of grit, or simply whining about a situation all are equally steeped in.

So, how do we know whether or not we are this weak link?

My guess is, take a look at your day to day behaviour. Do you regularly lament traffic? Grouse about how someone said something in a tone you didn’t like? Do you expound aloud the following “You know how I get when I get hungry?”

More often than not it is the small things that reveal us. Our trivial behaviour is often our character writ large under stress. Consider this, if we are pernickety and peevish when it gets a little humid out, imagine how we would be on day 88 of ocean survival in an open boat without food.

With this Small Behaviour = Large Behaviour equation in mind, we can take steps to correct if correction is needed or desired. By regularly monitoring our words, our texts, our posts, all of our communication and weeding it of the small peevishness that afflicts us all. My complaint of traffic means absolutely nothing to another person on the face of the planet. All I’ve done is add trivial noise to another’s day. If the stakes were raised and we are in an open boat surviving on a diet of turtle’s blood and facing the prospect of consuming deceased boat-mates, my trivial noise that must be counter-acted by another in equally dire straits is a disservice to the nth degree. In these circumstances my trivia becomes a net drag on the prospects for the entire crew.

With this said, to all of us with a mindset for grit, determination, and survival, let us learn from First Mate Chase’s grueling lesson and begin training ourselves to have this oh, so valuable “determined countenance.”

 

 

 

DISENGAGE THE ATTACK, PT I – Teja Van Wicklen

“Decide to be your own bodyguard.”
~ Lori Harman Gervasi, from her book Fight Like A Girl and Win

Since we can’t count on the cavalry riding in or on our attacker’s ineptitude for our survival, we need a plan, preferably one that is tailored to us. The only way to do this, is to learn what options we have for stopping a person or people who are willing to cheat, and who probably outclass us in strength and fight experience, and piece together our own best strategy. But the plan begins with how well we know ourselves, our situation and our reactions.

I write for regular people and families, so what follows is not for martial arts competitions or face-to-face encounters, necessarily. It is a break down of what average people might want to know about physical fights, including the mental aspects.

At least some of what I am about to lay out here should be common information for most people of a certain age. The fact that it isn’t, is a testament to how cut off we have become from our own ability to protect ourselves from bodily harm. Girls most of all should grow up knowing some of this stuff. Most boys know how to throw, and run by the age of eight. By ten many have a basic understanding of fighting. Young human children, like other predators, play-fight constantly, or, at least, they want to. Games like dodge ball, red-rover and tag are meant to exercise and exorcise the primordial need children have to explore their physical world and test the boundaries of their own strengths. These days animals are more likely to need those skills than we are most of the time, but contact and physicality are still necessary and healthy. They teach appropriate distance and contact, boundary setting and consequences much better than stern faces and finger pointing ever can.

“Social Animals build bonds by playing together,
testing their strengths and limits, and in doing so, they learn trust.”
~ from the TV Show, Nature: Odd Couples

One of the best ways for kids to learn about physical self protection is through their parents. That means we need to learn about it so we can direct our kids towards a healthy and realistic approach to the physical exploration of violence, danger and safety. I am not by any means encouraging you to share all the information in this multi-part article with your kids. But if you have a big-picture view, it follows that you will make a better guide.

Some amount of play fighting as kids or martial arts and self defense training as adults is crucial and empowering. Preparing for life-threatening emergencies wakes up a part of our brain we rarely use, sharpens thought processes and prepares us for all manners of adversity. The thing about violence is, it is somehow a microcosm for everything we do. It is so much a part of our world that understanding it slows time and allows us to see things we didn’t know were there. A person who understands violence is at liberty to strategize and make bold choices in life. Exploring these landscapes will help make you more effective in any situation that requires you to make split second decisions with lasting ramifications.

So here you are. Someone you may or may not know has targeted you. Or, more precisely, he (remember that he can mean she or the dreaded they) came up with a plan to do something or get something (Intent); he then tested you to see if you would make it easy or hard (Interview); he invited you to a party, waited for you outside your office or lured you to his car (Position); now you’re at ground zero and the Attack is imminent. Let’s make the stakes high – severe bodily harm or death. We want to make an impression on our brain so this information sticks.

Here are some ideas that have been percolating for a while:

The Grand Dilemma

You may very well have to use deadly force to get away from an attack due to strength, leverage and weight discrepancies between you and your attacker or attackers. You are certainly going to have to use every ounce of smarts you are in possession of. And just to make it worse, your maximum force and smarts may not even be enough. He may not be bigger or stronger – he may be a she – but she may have a weapon, be in the throws of a psychotic break or drug induced euphoria, or all of the above. Each set of circumstances is different. There is no one size fits all solution to self defense no matter what anyone tells you. A kick will not always work, neither will pepper spray.

To complicate things further, there are things you can only do legally under threat of death or severe injury, but if you wait to find out what his plan is it can easily be too late. To do or not to do. To kill or maim or to die. These are the decisions we, in a civilized society have to juggle. This is the grand dilemma–what you have to do to survive versus what is legal. To add insult to injury you will probably have a miniscule amount of time to make an educated decision that impacts the rest of your life.

The more information you have and the more decisions you have made ahead of time, the better your position will when you have no time to think. At least, in theory based on books and accounts by people who have been through some serious shit.

Willing and Able

Someone has chosen to hurt you because you are at a disadvantage. You are smaller, weaker, distracted, too nice, have a baby with you, are wearing clothing or shoes you can’t move in. He is, in short, fighting very dirty. He is picking you because he knows he can beat you. Whether or not he turns out to be right may well depend on just how dirty you are WILLING to fight and just how dirty you are ABLE to fight.

Check in with yourself about the following three points:

What do you have to live for? Who do you have to live for? How important are you to yourself and to others? Are you important enough to yourself? And the similar question: If you were in a life or death situation, what could you think of that would give you the strength to do the impossible? A person. A goal. Something else.

What specific lengths would you be willing to go to to survive? Could you kill someone if they were willing to kill you and you knew it in your soul? Could you damage someone irreparably? Poke out an eye? Would you sacrifice a limb to save your child? To what lengths do you think you are willing to go to survive?

Fighting, contrary to Hollywood movies, is very messy stuff. There are bodily fluids, gore and overwhelming emotions that weigh you down and clog your head with black goo. When we see our own blood, or any blood, we freeze in fear, afraid to do anything in case the next thing might be even worse.

It’s alright not to be sure. There isn’t even any data on whether exploring the ugly stuff will really help you in the event of an emergency. But there is a lot of conjecture by military and law enforcement experts that it helps greatly to have some understanding of these preliminary issues to avoid freezing and doing nothing in the event of a catastrophic emergency. And doing nothing in an emergency situation is almost always universally considered the worst thing to do.

If you ever have to make a life or death decision regarding yourself or someone you love, give yourself permission to do whatever you need to do to survive. Make your peace with it now so you don’t stop and question yourself when every second counts.

You may or may not be capable of brutality, but you may need to consider it and give yourself permission to do whatever it takes to protect yourself and your children. Fighting for them means fighting for yourself even when they aren’t with you. You need to give it everything you’ve got unless you want them to have to endure a knock on the door by the police at 3AM to tell them Mommy isn’t coming home tonight, in fact she’s never coming home again. Unless you want your husband or mother, or grown kids to have to identify your body, you’re going to need to fight with everything you have, and not give up, no matter how much blood you see. Besides, the blood might be his.

If you look to the animal kingdom you will find plenty of instances of tiny animals scaring away or fighting off larger predators with Attitude and Determination. These are two things you will need in spades. The more of it you have, the more the other guy’s resolve will falter. And you want him busy second-guessing his choice, because it will help take the wind out of his sails, turn the tables and give you the upper hand. You may need a trigger for this. Think about it now. Your trigger may be the thought of your kids and this guy daring to try and take you away from them. It may be the pure rage of absolute indignation and incredulity. It could be hearing the music from Rocky in your head. It’s all good.

Kathy Jackson teaches women to understand and handle guns. Kathy has six children. She knows that we often protect others with more ferocity than we protect ourselves and she begins her workshops by making eye contact with each woman individually and telling her directly and in no uncertain terms, “You do not need permission from anyone else. You do not have to have someone else to protect or stay alive for. Your life is worth protecting with everything you’ve got. Your life is worth protecting. Period” She makes eye contact with each woman individually and repeats this mantra, because she knows women need to embody it.

The Threat of Violence: That Isn’t Really a Threat …,, Part I – Marc MacYoung

Part of the Derailing Social Justice Bullies series

There’s a new breed of bully out there.

 The best summation is he or she is a religious fanatic, but over secular not theological ideologies. Whether you call them crusades or jihads, many of these folks are on an attack campaign to spread their beliefs. These true believers are going to force others to convert to the zealot’s superior ideals, morality, beliefs, and dogmas—or be dominated by them. Theirs is a righteous cause, a new morality, a utopia of compassion, tolerance, and equality. You will conform to these ideals. I’ll show you not only how they use violence, but the threat of violence to intimidate and bully you.

Just so you know although their ‘official enemy’ are those who think differently, their favorite target are those who think like them—but are not orthodox enough. (Google the term, “struggle session.”) Just because you might share some of the same ideas doesn’t mean you won’t be bullied by these tactics.

While verbal and emotional abuse are their most common behavior committing physical violence in the name of their righteous cause isn’t off the table. But here’s a modern twist: A common tactic of these secular fanatics is to physically attack while either screaming they are ‘the victim’ or denying that they are attacking. More than that if you react to their violence—you are the bad guy.

This is a series of articles about how to handle their preferred tactics, starting with threatening you with violence. In case you don’t know, I am a U.S. court-recognized expert in violence reconstruction. In this article, I’m going to share with you part of the process I use to analyze what happened in a case—specifically the threat of and lead up to physical violence. (You’re getting tricks of the trade here, Buckaroo.)

Here’s a homework assignment: Go watch videos of violent confrontations—but with this process in place. Since this is an election year (in the U.S.), the headlines are screaming about peaceful protestors being attacked and victimized. One of my favorites is the poor innocent fifteen-year-old who was sexually assaulted and then pepper sprayed while peacefully protesting at a political rally. There are a lot of people who are really angry about this innocent child being abused this way. But is that what really what happened? We can actually check it against video. In doing so, we can practice the analysis process I’m about to show you.

Step one in this process find the longest, uncut, raw video you can of the incident itself. Often shorter versions have undergone creative editing (to support steps two and three). But also know two thirty-second videos can—through editing—emphasize different things. There’s a common ten seconds, but this one has the twenty seconds before and that one has twenty seconds after.

Going to the MSNBC Web page, the version they present of the pepper spray incident is twenty-five seconds. While the raw footage doesn’t support the allegation of sexual assault, it makes it look like the spraying came out of nowhere. (The poor innocent child!)

http://www.msnbc.com/msnbc-quick-cuts/watch/video-of-pepper-spray-incident-outside-trump-rally-655071811863

Here are two longer versions (and extra angles):

http://usuncut.com/politics/watch-trump-supporter-pepper-sprays-teenage-girl-video/

This is thirty seconds and focuses less on the aftermath and more on what happened before incident—like her getting in people’s faces and striking someone before being pepper sprayed.

While:

http://thinkprogress.org/politics/2016/03/30/3764717/trump-wisconsin-pepper-spray/

Has thirty-second and twenty-second videos. Both with extra emphasis on the aftermath of her tearfully walking away.

When it comes to video, longer and uncut is better. But you can piece together a more overall knowledge by looking at different edits and versions. It’s like reading about the same incident from several different—and diverse—news sources. You get a better overview.

Steps two and three of the process are critical for several reasons. The biggest is because the way our brains work words and vision are closely linked in what we perceive. (That’s why TV and movies are so powerful.) This word and image combination literally creates our ‘reality.’ We are very susceptible to words influencing what we can see. I would say perception, but words ‘blind us’ to what we can see. It’s part of what is called selective attention.

Here’s a little test you can take…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJG698U2Mvo

(Or Google: Selective attention, basketball, video—and take the test) Go ahead, do it before you read on. G’head, g’head.

If you took that test, you’ll now understand why steps two and three are critical.

Step two is skip the headlines, taglines, titles, pundits, and reading the article before you watch the video. Go straight to the video. You want raw, unedited video before words. This is important because often these other sources—especially headlines—support the narrative they want you to believe and that the video is edited toward. That’s a very powerful combo, influencing not just what you think you saw, but your ability to later change your mind in the presence of new information. (It’s possible, but it’s hard.) The headline of the Think Progressive article spins ‘a child is sexually assaulted then further victimized’ narrative as the set up for the rest of a ‘what evil, violent, rat bastards those guys are’ article. Once that idea is planted, it’s hard to see what really happens on the video.

Step three is the must do. In fact, it’s so important, I’m going to make it a stand alone paragraph …

Watch the video for first time (or maybe the first few times) with the sound off!

The reasons for this are legion. One of which—especially in these days of cell phone videos—is often the cameraman provides a running commentary (assuming that the cameraman isn’t screaming, “Kick his ass!”) He’s telling you what you are seeing and where to look. Way too often this commentary keeps you from seeing the gorilla. (If you took the selective attention test, you’ll understand.)

Two is even without narration, the screaming, yellin,’ and bellerin’ will distract you from the physical actions of the participants. Remember, emotions are contagious. If you hear someone screaming in anger—even on video—you’re going to get excited and miss important visual details. More than that, we tend to look at the face of the person we’re listening to. So you tend to focus on the screamer’s face not the physical actions of that person or others. Again, it’s that damned gorilla you don’t notice.

Three, is mute helps prevent you from rooting for one side over the other.

Those are just some of the reasons why ‘no sound the first time’ is critical. Focus on the physical action. Do it without being emotionally invested, judgmental, or biased.

Step four is watch it again with the sound on (or read the article). I should warn you—odds are you’re going to experience cognitive dissonance.

You’ve seen the video. What we’ve done at this point is immunized ourselves from being told what we saw. (As opposed to being told what you’re about to see or are seeing.) We’ve broken that operant conditioning and selective attention trick. Way too often you’re going to read the article, comments, etc., and wonder “how the hell can someone get that version” out of what you just saw.

Using that video of the pepper spraying as the example, which version tracks better with what you saw:

1.)”After being sexually assaulted at a rally, a fifteen-year-old girl was pepper sprayed by a supporter” or…

2.) “She was aggressing against people, her friends were trying to hold her back, she punched someone and got sprayed, then she walked away.”?

We’ve seen things that cannot be unseen. We’ve kept words from establishing a bias or narrative. Then again, you’ll usually end up watching it again to try to find the basis of the words. (“She was groped.”) Where the hell is that supposed to have happened? You’ve also seen things that are going to be a whole lot harder to explain away—like her hitting someone before being sprayed. (“Well the reason she hit was she was groped.” “That’s not what I saw happen.”) More than that, you’ll be able to articulate what you did see—especially if you take the next step.

Step five—especially if you’ll be arguing with people about it (remember I deal with lawyers)—is break the video into five-second chunks and watch them a few times.

What is happening in that five-second chunk? Not what is going to happen. Look closely at what is happening. You analyze what actions and circumstances you see in that particular chunk. As you watch these chunks over and over put your attention on different things. (One time watch his right hand, next time his left. Now do the same with the other person.) Watch for what is there just as much as what is not there.

When you do this, three things happen. One, you will usually find what happened is way different than the story of what happened. If the story is true certain things will be on the video. If not, question the story. For example, that she was ‘groped’ before she was pepper sprayed. Really? You know what? There are certain common reactions a woman has when she’s groped—especially when her reaction involves hitting someone. They happen fast and without thought. Watch any of those videos for the reactions and timing you think would be there.

Two, you’ll see even more details about the situation that you didn’t see before. For example, the expression on her face combined with the body movement that indicates she was hitting someone. What’s interesting about that is we unconsciously clench our jaws when we physically attack. If we expect a counter attack (or are being attacked), we drop our jaw to protect our throats. If we don’t, we thrust our chins out as if to bite. Look at where her jaw is.

Three is how often the supposed ‘victim’ was using the threat of violence to bully, intimidate, and coerce—and it backfired. Or that the so-called ‘victim’ was physically violent first. Not defense, the person attacked first.

“Uhhhh. Wait a minute … what?” Yeah. This is a biggie. The reason I used this protest video as an example is this is exactly what happens. She was aggressing, threatening, and physically attacked first—yet she’s being presented as the victim.

(As a follow up, I’ve since seen a longer clip. One that starts earlier. She does accuse someone [“You”] of groping her. But there is a five to ten second delay before she throws the punch. This delay takes it out of the realm of immediate defensive action—self-defense— and makes it a deliberate and separate attack.)

Self-Defense Failure Zone – Rory Miller

Rory Writes: This was just going to be an example for the last article on reframing, but it grew into an article of it’s own.

One aspect of self-defense that is rarely addressed are low level predators and creeping victimizations. The low-level predators are the ones who keep their victims uncomfortable, but never cross the line into overt, concrete, actionable behaviors. The constant innuendos that never rise to the level of sexual harassment. The colleague who seems to enjoy violating personal space but doesn’t touch, or touches but only “accidentally” and deniably.  

Creeping victimization ranges from the charming predator who romances a lonely victim, slowly acquiring access to the victim’s car and house and bank account. They victim may never even believe it was fraud. Or the cult that asks for one tiny favor until it seems normal and ups the level of the favor until a member is living with people he or she was assigned to live with, signing over their paychecks to the cult and getting an allowance…and it happened so gradually it seems normal. See Campfire Tales From Hell Create Space (2012)

Low level predators and creeping victimization are difficult problems to solve from the self-defense mindset. The self-defense mindset too often teaches from a passive beginning, in a reactionary mode and with the assumption the problem is simple.

Passive beginning: “There you are, minding your own business and suddenly the office creep is standing right behind you, setting it up so that you touch him when you turn…”

Reactionary mode: “… so what should you do?” Passive/reactionary puts the bad guy in control. He has the power, he calls the shots, and you are constantly playing catch-up when he is acting, and you are prey to be studied the rest of the time. There is no agency in this.

Simple solutions. “Set clear boundaries.” Excellent advice, but this happens in the real world. When you do set clear boundaries, when you are assertive, there will be a price to pay. Bad guys are very good at punishing good guys for taking a stand. Maybe starting a gossip campaign at work, or using social media to try to get you fired or counter-accusations that you are the one being aggressive.

The self-defense mindset is inefficient for complex problems. For that matter, it’s not that efficient even fro self-defense situations. In the real world, most attacks have antecedents and will have after-effects, win or lose. They happen in a complex world of social interaction ranging from the reaction of your friends to the response of law enforcement. And passive beginnings or reactive timing makes it very difficult to recover and succeed.

The conflict management mindset, on the other hand takes advantage of each aspect.

An active mindset and an active beginning. You are part of this game from before the start. Dealing with low level creepers in the office you learn who they are and how they operate. You create your support system and gather allies from the beginning. In the self-defense mindset you call the police after the fact. In the conflict management mindset, you have been making friendships and alliances from day one and realize that those friendships are part of the world that the creeper must navigate.

Even dealing with the very rare stranger attack, the conflict manager trains beforehand, not out of fear but because life is better when you are stronger and more skilled. You are alert beforehand not out of paranoia but because people are interesting to watch.

Participatory mode. Reacting lets the threat dictate the game and the rules. You are not a pawn. This is your game too. You act, and that forces the threat to react. You have the power to take control of the initiative, the power to change the game and dictate your own set of rules.

In the creeper scenario this is the ability to choose to see the relationship as something other than low-level predator vs. toy. You might also be co-workers. Have a network of friends or business relationships in common. You can even close to be the predator in the relationship.

I hesitate to write that. The simple fact is that your mind and how you see a situation has immense power in how you act and how you are perceived. In the ecology of violence, the low-level creepers are the scavengers. Rats scurry away from lions. I find people are very uncomfortable experimenting with their mental power to change. They either fear they will damage their identity or that it is unnatural.

As to identity, your “self” is a wisp of smoke. Are you the same person before and after your morning coffee? After two days with our sleep? If your “self” was solid enough to be threatened, you wouldn’t have moods. You are not protecting yourself, but your ego.

Unnatural? Then why do all children play at this constantly? How much of your childhood did you spend being a great explorer or a soldier, playing cops and robbers and cowboys and indians? “Let’s pretend” is a universal game among children, and I believe that kids are forced out of it because the ability to go chameleon at that level will make them too powerful for their parents and society to predict and control.

Changing who you choose to be has immense power, if you have the courage to embrace it. Just sayin’.

In the stranger self-defense scenario, participation allows the justified pre-emptive strike. It allows and encourages you to verbally control the situation before the threat does. It gives you active protection from the threat’s use of psychological control.

Complexity. Recognizing that situations happen in an immense network of social interaction, in a physical environment that is cluttered and messy, in a complex swirl of emotion, cognition and social conditioning is a superpower. It may seem complicated, but it is only acknowledging that the level of complexity you know in every other part of your life exists here as well. This is something you deal with every day. You are good at it. Unless you let the other person set the rules of the game.

Each level of that complication is something you can use. You can use the interactions between the levels as well. When you see the world this way the victor in an encounter is rarely the strongest or the most evil. This worldview works for the creative and the smart. And you are smarter and more creative than most creepers, right?

That is why it is so critical to bad guys to keep you in the reactive, self-defense mindset. They control your mind so that you limit your own options.

In stranger self-defense, understanding complexity allows one to recognize when other resources can be used to prevent the danger, like screaming for help before the threat gets you to an isolated place. It encourages one to use verbal skills and physical skills simultaneously both to give a psychological edge over the threat and to groom witnesses. It changes that cluttered and chaotic environment from a set of hazards to a set of tools.

Passive, reactionary and simple mindsets limit your ability to respond. Embracing the complexity and your role as an active participant increases your agency. If you see the world as a fascinating complex game, you can become a master at that game.

 

Look Around You – Terry Trahan

Since the late 1980’s and the publication of Marc MacYoung’s book, Cheap Shots, Ambushes, and Other Lessons, one of the go-to buzzwords in the self defense world has been awareness.

Be aware, stay aware, head on a swivel. It is great advice, but unfortunately, this is as far as it goes. Nobody really explains it, nobody tells you what you need to be aware of. They just throw it out there. There really is a difference between awareness and paranoia, but without being knowledgeable about it, it is very easy to slide into paranoia.

The first thing you need to establish in order to have an awareness is what is the baseline for your area, both neighbourhood and workplace.

I make this difference because every place has a different normal, and not paying attention to these differences causes a lot of people to make mistakes, and possibly overreact.

I like to start closer to home, so that is where we will start here.

What is the baseline in your residence, especially in an apartment complex or condo. Noise level, timings of the common comings and goings, delivery people, festivals in the area. You need to look at it a little further out and include your block and neighbourhood area. For instance;

  • Is there a homeless population?
  • If so, what is their “schedule” of travel and ingress/egress from the area?
  • Are there businesses or bars/restaurants?
  • If so who are the patrons and what sort of hours do they open?

All these things go into establishing the norm for the area. If you get used to this, the sounds, sights, smells and vibe of the place, anything outside of that trips your trigger as being different, therefore something you need to pay more attention to. Then do the same in your workplace and locale around your business.

The next step is to pay attention to your internal environment, what is in your head, what distracts you, what assumptions you have that masks or obscures the reality in your perception.

This establishes what I would call environmental awareness. You are confident and comfortable with the ebb and flow of your area, and any anomalies stand out. Environmental awareness is the base and core of everything else, without it, you can’t develop any other kind of awareness.

The next stage of awareness would be developing what is termed Situational awareness, and this is what most people are talking about when they tell you to be aware.

Situational awareness is when the things in your environment are disturbed to the point you notice something is amiss, and you need to pay attention to identify it, and then you get to choose the proper reaction and respond.

As you can see, environmental awareness is the foundation for all the different forms awareness takes. If you can’t spot the differences in your norm, it blinds you to what is happening, and what options are available and open to you.

Situational awareness also leads to the ability to see the different options available, what tools are around to be used, and if there are any escape routes handy. Without this kind of awareness, you are operating blind, and cannot make good decisions.

Work to develop both kinds of awareness, and your ability to get along in the world will increase.

 

What the Pro’s know – Mr. Brassy McKnuckles

When you need a job done, do you go with the cheapest and least experienced contractor? I mean hey money is always an issue and if you can save a buck why not. Because when you hire a professional you are paying for knowledge and experience and he or she is going to cost you a lot more than the guy you hire out by the local giant home supply store.  Sure it’s cheaper but you are paying for what you get and all the headaches that go along with it. Think I am kidding, go talk to people that use a public defender to represent them in a court of law and you will begin to see what a professional you are paying can do for you. One of my favorite things to tell a potential client is that you think it’s expensive to hire a pro then go ahead and hire an amateur and see just how costly it gets.

So now that I have that shit out of the way I am going to tell you why there is a huge fucking difference between Professional Violence and Self-defense or Amateur night fighting. When I was a kid I read one of my dad’s westerns and one scene has stuck with me throughout my entire life. A punk kid is drinking in a bar when an old timer walks in for a drink. He is one of the old mountain men and the kind of man that other hard men walk clear of. The kid is trying to make a name for himself and despite the warnings of some of the hard cases drinking with him he begins to prod and push the old man. Calling him names and making fun of the way he is dressed. The old man ignores him and the kid gets madder and madder, till he calls the old man something that he can’t take back.  He braces himself and tells the old man to draw at which the mountain man shoots him in the chest with a big .50 Hawkins he’s been holding in his hand while drinking.  This one scene has stuck with me for my entire life. When it’s time for violence then it’s time to do it right

I watch these videos on the computer and laugh my ass off not only at the time some of these guys take to finish a fight but the amount that people comment on the fight and say things that show just how ignorant they are of real world violence, one of my favorites is the keyboard warrior that goes off on a rant about how if the cops were so fucking tough then why did it take 4 or 5 of them. Listen up dickhead the cops are pros and use the amount of force necessary to get the job done, and that is the difference between amateurs and professional level violence. Cops, the Military, bouncers, hired thugs whatever the need there is a professional to fit it.  

I was trying to explain to another contributor to the magazine just what pro level violence was and I used this purely fictional explanation.

My crew and I were hired to collect a large amount of money for a local sports enthusiast that had wagered on the outcome of certain events. One of the other parties in the wager had decided not to pay what he owed for his lack of foresight into the outcome of the event. I gathered up the gang and we made our way over to a local drinking establishment to explain why his course of actions were purely unacceptable for our employer.

 Three of my cohorts and myself went to where the gentleman was enjoying a nice frothy beverage and sat down with him, me in the front and my friends to either side of him. I asked him if he knew why we were there. He said yes, and I explained to him the course of action we were going to be forced to take if the money he owed was not paid. He agreed that he had made a very poor choice and that if I would be so kind as to take a message to my employer that he would be paid in full the very next day. I told him that it would just thrill me plum to death to do so but I needed to be paid for my services with gas prices being so high that I needed a little something to make it worth my time to do so. I admired his watch and he had almost $200.00 cash on him. So I took both as payment for delivering his message and asked him to please be prompt in his payment of my employer. Then I asked him if he ever got that big old tree stump out of his front yard. He said no he had not and then after a few seconds asked me how I knew where he lived. I just smiled at him and the four of us walked away I told him I expected payment in full after the bank opened in the morning or that stump would be the least of his worries.

This is an example of what I like to call Verbal Violence, simple explanation backed by sufficient threat of what will occur if the demands of the situation are not met. The key to this type of violence is to make sure you are able to back up the threat in a way that insures the problem will not happen again.

Now let’s take this to the next level or what is called disciplinary violence. Rory Miller terms it an educational beat down and for most folks that is as good a term as any.  So the guy doesn’t come across with his end of our arrangement, and me being a man of my word, I go to take care of business. I gather up the crew and we begin hunting the gentleman, because we don’t get paid till the employer gets paid. We go stake out his work, home and hangouts and as soon as one of us spots him we converge. Now don’t get me wrong, I would have much rather he had paid his bill and never to have seen him again. It doesn’t take long and he shows up at one of the bars that he frequents. We go over and one of the guys goes in to scout out the situation. He is alone and the scout waits till he goes to the restroom to signal us. We go in and make a B line for the restroom. One of the crew stops at the restroom door to prevent interference and the other five go in. We surround him and with no fanfare two of the guys begin beating him.

The correct application of violence is to use enough force to achieve the goal without going over the limit. After just a few seconds “Mr. Idonthavetopay” begins crying and explaining that he had the money and would take it to my employer right away. I tell him that he should give me the money and I would take it to my employer. He complained that I would just steal the money and that’s when I hit him in the mouth. I then explained to him that we are professionals and that kind of thing was a sure way to end us getting another job.  We took the money to our employer and got our pay. This type of thing is good for business. No he wouldn’t call the police because even if all of us were arrested he knew that at some point in time on of our brothers would be waiting for him and he didn’t want to pay the bill for that on. This is one of the truths about the majority of people that live on the outskirts of society. They are subject to a different style of taxation for doing business and subject to punishments that don’t involve prison.

Now we are going to look at the third type of Professional Violence, the hard job. Say a crew moves in and begins selling illegal products in an area that has in the past been controlled by someone that we do business with on a regular bases. He or she might call us and ask for assistance in remedying this situation and after negotiation over price we would go to work.  Intelligence gathering, recon, watching members of the new business venture. Form a plan and then implement it. Begin taking out members of the other crew if feasible and if not target the leadership. Cost them money, rob their members, interfer with their money train. Don’t give them a break. Use the police as a secondary strike team by giving them as much information as needed to break up the new business. Do whatever it takes to accomplish the job. If it comes down to it take out the leadership through active intervention.

This could go many different ways but I will only focus on one of them right now. We as a full crew would find and where the leader like to hang out, and most of the time this type of person wants to be seen and known as a player in the game. That’s one of the big differences between small time hoodrats and the really big dangerous players. Big players stay in the shadows and control things for behind many layers of protection. Getting to those types of individuals is far beyond a small crews reach and better left alone. Know your limitations and operate within your parameters. Overreaching can and will get you killed.

After watching and being patient Mr. X’s habits become known. Where he like to go, his preference in women, cars, drugs, everything is valuable as a possible edge. There are two ways to handle this situation. One is Hard Work the other is an Easy Job.  I am going to concentrate on the Hard Work to show you how Professional Violence works. Mr. X leaves the bar that he like to show off in. He may have an escort or he may not. For this scenario we will say that he is overconfident and not afraid of possible threats against him. We as a crew will be waiting outside. As soon as we can, we will surround him, hit him with pepper spray then tazer him. When he is down, out come the hammers and Mr. X’s legs and hands get broken in many different places.

I would then explain to him that his choice of business location need to change or the next time he will not even hear what hits him. Overwhelming force applied correctly can and will often stop the need for things to escalate any farther. If Mr. X does not listen to reason the next step is called easy work and I won’t talk about it.  I hope that this short article helps you understand the difference between how Violence Professionals view the use of force versus how two guys getting into an argument and fighting in a parking lot. Or how self-defense situations are completely different than getting on the wrong side of hard people.