Clint Overland – Page 2 – Conflict Manager

The Killer – Clint Overland

I want to talk to you today about a quite killer, one so stealthy and smooth it could teach tricks to a ninja on sneaky ways to slip up on the target and take them out. It is called complacency and it kills more people every year than car crashes. Where does this killer come from? Is it a virus that spreads through contact? Is it a STD that you catch from a mat rat that doesn’t bathe properly? No, what it is a lifestyle choice that is transmitted through being too damn comfortable in your lifestyle.

You have become a victim of your own safety and security. The everyday sameness of your life have become so humdrum you have let your guard down and the patterns and rhythms have become your cracked glass walls of normalcy. One of the great things about make your living by pissing people off is that you grow accustomed to people trying to get back at you. Not taking the same route home, watching everything around you and staying on edge every time you walk out the door. The few times I have been hurt are the times I let my guard down. They all stemmed from altercations that occurred in a different location and I in my grand stupidity let complacency lead me into taking an ass whipping. So don’t go getting all butt hurt and mad because I am throwing rocks at you while living in a glass house. I am writing to you from experience and trying to impart some wisdom. My goal is to shake you up a bit and make you look at what you are doing and examine it to find the flaws and correct them, and hopefully find mine as well.

We all fall into habits and patterns, it’s a simple truth, and one that honestly no one can be blamed for. It’s easy to do. Get up at the same time every day, go to work, come home, day in day out. Patterns become habits and good or bad they become the norm. I know that since I retired from the violence trades and went to work in a normal job, (if working in a county jail is normal) I found how easy that kind of lifestyle can become. You do the same thing at the gym, train with the same guys at the dojo, eating the same thing day in day out and next thing you know you are in a situation that surprises you. You expect a person to act or respond in one way and they do something so completely off the wall that your mind can’t comprehend whats happening and you are up to your eyeballs in a cluster-fuck.

I see this a lot of times with police officers and security people. They become complacent in their on duty time. They respond to the same families home time and time again and they get so used to the script that they never see the 12 year old kid with the shotgun till it is too late. There have been several incidents earlier this year where an officer was shot sitting in his patrol car doing reports. They may have been sitting in the same spot time and time again to do this and it came back to haunt them. I am not condemning these officers but the truth is they became complacent behind the authority of the badge and it added to their deaths. The world has changed dramatically folks and it will never be the same.

Look at your life with a magnifying glass. Where have you let yourself become a self-victim of your own patterns and habits? Is it in the places that you feel most secure and safe? Is it at the dojo or training studio? Is it at work with nothing really exciting has happened for the past few months and it is all hum drum and day to day? These are the places that you need to try and break that patterns that you have fallen into. Get with your training partners, training officers, and your family time and throw monkey wrenches into your day to day machine.

My ex-wife would get madder than a baptized cat when I would run fire drills in the middle of the night. Till we smelled smoke one night while we were asleep. We got the kids and ourselves out of the house in less than a minute. It was a grass fire across the road thank God, but she then saw the benefits of not staying complacent. If you’re a police officer what are you doing to keep from becoming complacent in your day to day procedures, are you just going through the motions and falling in the same trap that leads to you no going home. Have you security personal slipped into the pattern of walking the fence or patrolling your property the same way every night. Going through the motions of checking everything at the same time and same pattern, making yourself into an easy target. This is the kind of complacency that become the killer in your life.

Look at your training at the dojo or hall that you attend. What can you do to break up the monotony of your training? Do you run the same drills the same way every time you? Are you doing any outside work in different climates and on different ground surfaces? Are you using ambush tactics as part of your work training program? These are simple fixes and just take a small effort and dark since of humor to change the entire pattern. See how many of your fellow coworkers can and would be willing to play a game of pepper ball tag? Follow off duty personal to the houses and tag their cars with modeling clay and if they don’t find it by the time they get to work they owe you a beer. Its things like this that help you change your perspective and make you realize just how dangerous living the same way every day is dangerous.

One game I play with the few guys I teach is called knock out. We put on pads, headgear and boxing gloves. It’s an action/reaction game or drill. I stand within arm’s reach of the student and if I can punch them in the face before they can block me they owe me 25 pushups or burpees. No, I do not try and knock them out for real but I am trying to teach them that distance equals time and time equals safety. We also train a version of tag. We each get small post it notes with the word stab on them. At any time if you can ghost up on a partner and tag him with the post it note without him stopping you, they owe you a beer. These are again just simple thing to do to help and break the habits you may have developed over a period of time.

Remember there are graveyards full of people who weren’t paranoid enough.

Running a Hard Crew – Mr Brassy McKnuckles

Ok kiddies gather round and listen to the words of your elders and probably betters simply because we survived our own stupidity. So you want to run a crew of hard men and make a living in
the violence trades. Well kids this take work determination and rules to make it successful and if you listen to me I will try and make the path a little easier for you.

You have probably heard the old saying keep your friend close and your enemies closer well that is the damn truth. Do not build a large group of people that you don’t know. Stay small and stay tight, know each other and know who you can trust. Know their perks and their idiosyncrasies, learn who you can trust and who you cant. Remember Jesus only had twelve people in His crew and one of
them stabbed him in the back and sold him out to the Law.

Learn how to support your crew with only eighty percent of your pay. Now I know some of you that are reading this are now pissed that I would say such a thing and that shows just how stupid you are. Running a crew cost money and even if all the jobs are cash you are still going to need to pay your taxes and tithes. What are those you ask? Well it’s the money you spend on Lawyers, Bail bonds agent and the expense of a crew member going to the hospital or jail. Most people who get into the violence professions do not last long because they can not gather up the cash to pay a lawyer right
from the start. So they either sit in jail or go tits up because of the lack of preparation.

Ask around and find the absolute best criminal defense lawyer that you can afford, and put them on retainer, even if this means you do some work and you don’t have anything to show for it right at first. A good lawyer is worth their weight in gold if you get popped for something and are looking at pulling a 5 piece in jail. After you have paid him then talk to him, tell him what you are doing
for a living and instruct him that his job is to keep the majority of legal problems to a minimum.

Next find a bail bonds agent and develop a close personal relationship. Work out a prepaid bond agreement with them. Put the money up front with the agreement that they will post bond when and
where you need it and for any member of your crew. Have their and the lawyers numbers on speed dial plus have them memorized. This saves time in the long run and you will also love the since of security these two simple steps provide. These are just a few of the business cost that come with the territory and you will definitely need them. So now do you see why I am telling you to learn to live off of eighty percent instead of the one hundred percent you were planning too.

Now it is time to talk about work ethic. If you are going into business as a violence professional you had better damn well be professional. This means that you are there to do a job for money. Plain and simple. Not pussy, not drugs, not emotions or feelings, you work for MONEY! Too many guys get caught up in violence by proxy because some split tail wags her snatch under his nose and promises him that she will suck his dick so good that he will have to pull the bed sheet out his ass if he will do this one little favor for her. FUCK THAT! Pussy don’t pay the bills and damn sure don’t put money on your books if you are doing time. Or he gets caught up in drug abuse and cant think straight so he goes off and uses Stupid like Yoda uses the force then goes to the pen for ten. MONEY folks that’s why you’re in business. If you get paid to do a job then do that job to the best
of your ability, do not slack off because all you have to do is go and collect from a guy who owes a guy. Sloppy work equals sloppy results.

I have seen too many crews go down the drain in a short amount of time because of three things. Drugs, Pussy and Money. So do not let this happen to you. If you have a crew of 4 then all money gets split 4 ways even if not all of you are there. If two of you go on a smash and grab or a shoot and loot because the other two can’t make it for some reason, all four of you split the pay or the take. This stops hard feeling right from the start. Now I would never recommend that only
two of you go but shit happens and you need to be prepared for it. This is after you take the initial twenty percent out for taxes and tithes and put that in your war funds(lawyer fees, bail money ect.)

Here is another one of my pet peeves and it better damn sure become yours. Yes I am my brother’s keeper. Why because I need to make sure he isn’t fucking up in his personal life and bringing heat down into mine. If a guy is abusing drugs then it’s time to either get him some help or make him get out. He has become a liability. His actions will cause you nothing but headaches somewhere down the road. No I am not talking about recreational use or getting sped up for a job, but if he is an addict then he is a problem waiting to occur and get your ass thrown into jail. Same with pussy, if one of your guys keeps bringing drama mamas into your business then it’s time for him to choose whither it’s worth the ass beating that is coming from the rest of you for acting like a goddamn teenager. A solid woman behind you can make the world of difference but some old bar snatch that can’t keep her cock hole shut needs to be gone. Plus you need to make sure your lady is up to date on your business. Do not cheat on her, do not use or abuse her in any way she is the one that will have your back if you need it and be the one to come see your ass if you are doing time plus putting money on the books for you to make commissary. Also make sure she is able and willing to discipline another member’s lady if she is the one getting out of line and not keeping her mouth closed.

Now let us discuss professionalism. Pay your bills, don’t draw attention to yourself or your crew. Don’t waste a bunch of money being flashy and needlessly showing off. This is not a long time game and you will get tired of it sooner or later. Put money back to live off of if trouble arises and it will show up after a time. Pay back everyone you owe whether it is money or blood. If someone owes you money or burns you then make sure all debts are settled either way Green or Red it is all a commodity. When you go out don’t let your crew get out of line attention it is bad for business. If your crew can’t be seen to take care of themselves socially then it will reflect on them in business and that means a loss of revenue. Be polite to waitresses and bartenders, tip well this is a great source of intel that comes your way after your crew becomes known. Don’t get into bar fights with bouncers and damn sure don’t get into it with the police. If you get arrested shut your pie hole, be polite and wait to say a damn thing till your lawyer that you have employed shows up. You pay him to talk to the police because he speaks legalese. Most people get convicted because they just don’t know how to shut the fuck up.

Ok now you’re asking where do we go to make money. I always liked robbing dope dealers and pimps, mainly because the cash was there and they don’t go to the police. I also recommend that you talk to your lawyer and have him put the word out to his colleagues that he know someone that can handle business for a price. Also look at doing escort work for dope dealers and for you guys that are in places that marijuana is legal look at doing security work for the pot shops. Be creative there is a whole wide world of pussies out there that don’t have the balls to do what you can do, take advantage of them.

Lies People Tell You About Violence – Clint Overland

When it comes to violence, you will hear a lot of lies. These lies come from martial artists, self-defense experts, the police, the media, the WWE, Hollywood, politicians, anti-violence activists, and more.

Here are just a few of them.

1. Violence never solved anything.

2. Only stupid or uneducated people resort to violence.

3. That there actually exists a fighting system in which you can’t be beat.

4. That bullets don’t punch through car doors or through house walls.

5. That you can hit someone repeatedly and not break your hand.

6. That when you shoot someone they automaticity drop dead
or get blown off their feet.

7. That beer bottles shatter when you hit someone over the head, but his head doesn’t.

8. That cars blow up when you shoot them.

9. That violence is random and senseless.

10. That you have to be loud and belligerent to make yourself threatening.

11. That Boxing and MMA don’t teach you anything about violence.

12. That professional fighting is the same thing as professional violence.

Fishing for Witnesses, Part II – Clint Overland

Ok so last month I told you about a situation that occurred and how I used the witness pool to help prevent me from going to jail. The plan was to write another article over the how and why of the matter to hopefully help you understand the science behind what you do to add this to your toolbox of violence. This is the fourth fucking rewrite and I am about ready to take this fucking keyboard out and blow this motherfucker up. SO fuck it this is what I got I am not a fucking scientist and I damn sure not college educated. What I am is a beat up old bouncer that survived 27 years in a business that eat souls and shits dreams.

What I also am is the most dirty and underhanded fucker to lace up a pair if steel toes. I will lie to drunks, use any information I can gather and basically play as dirty as I can to win, and by winning I mean I go home at night and hopefully no one dies. I left the business a little under a year ago for some health reasons and got talked into writing about this fucked up subject of self-defense.

Fuck it I went to the gym tonight banged out a set of widow-maker squats, came home drank some really good bourbon, sat down and here we go. Sit down shut up and hold the fuck on. We are going to talk reality in the US. I don’t know the laws where you live but I can tell you from talking to others in the business, things are as fucked up wherever you live as they are here. Used to you could swap skin, bust your knuckles on another guys head and no one called the law and no one got sued. Today with the pussification of mankind everyone wants to be a bad-ass but no one wants to shit teeth or spit blood. No they want to call the cops and twist everything up in court.

Here are two statements that can be made after an incident see if you can tell which of the two will get you taken straight to jail and which one will show reasonable doubt and show self-defense to the police.

Statement 1 “You’re goddamn right I kicked that pussies ass, I fucked his shit up! Told that mother fucker not to try his shit here or I was going to stomp his ass!”

Statement 2 “No officer I asked him to stop, I tried to walk away and he just kept coming at me trying to harm me. I didn’t want to hurt him but he wouldn’t stop. Is he ok? I just wanted to make him stop trying to hurt me.

If you picked statement 1 as your go to answer please do us all a favor and put a blindfold on then play catch in traffic. You are an idiot and should never get the chance to breed more of your stupidity into others.

If you picked statement 2 then we can work with that. You are the person I want to help with their fishing in the witness pool. Statement 1 is the one that will cost you a fortune in lawyer fees and possibly get your ass shanked in prison. Statement 2 give you the one thing that you are looking for when dealing with the police and with witnesses. Your narrative must make the individual feel sympathy for you.

If you read last month’s article you might remember that I said I went back to the people that followed the situation out to the parking lot. I also explained that I told them about the situation and how that this wasn’t the typical type of situation at the establishment. What I didn’t do was go into detail about what I said. Here is goes, imagine yourself as a witness to the occurence.

Guys I am so sorry that you saw that! This isn’t what goes on here, I tried to get him to just calm down and enjoy the night. I think he was going outside to use meth or something and he just wouldn’t stop acting up. I really am sorry you had to see this. Let me buy you a drink to apologize for you having to see this. Wow! Please we don’t normally have that kind of thing go on here. I can’t believe that he tried to head-butt the waitress and then tried to hit the manager and
me. I can’t believe that he acted that way! Here let me get the door for you. Y’all have a nice night and I will get you both that drink.”

Ok so what is your opinion now that the guy you saw use violence came up to you and apologized for you having to see it. Sympathy, if so good that is what I want you to feel. I want your sympathy. I want you to think Hey that isn’t a bad guy at all, he is just doing a hard job and that ass-hole he threw out deserved it. When you are fishing the witness pool this is exactly what you want to do. Notice how many time I apologized, how many times I reinforced my position to them that I
didn’t want to do this but his actions lead to the situation. Did you notice that I bought them a drink as a way of apology for them experiencing this. These are the type of thing that you need to think
about. How can I make my narrative more sympathetic to the ones that saw it. How can I make them see me as the good guy.

Funny thing about people is the way that they interpert what they see. Ask an experienced police detective how many people he or she has to interview to get a clear picture of what goes on, and also ask them why they separate the witnesses. What you are doing by talking to the person and making your case sympathetic, is explaining what they saw and why you were forced to do this. You must make yourself into the good guy. You must be able to articulate to the person in such a way as to make them want to help you out.

Come back next month for this ongoing clusterfuck of an article. Really should have tried to put this mother fucker in book form because there are a thousand things I want get across to you

Do me a favor guys I am looking for feedback good, bad or ugly about how I am doing. Like I said I am not a professional writer and this is all new for me.

Contact me at coverland1969@gmail.com and let me know what you think

Peace

Fishing for Witnesses – Clint Overland

Ok so you have got yourself into a situation that you either had to use your skillset and toolbox to put someone down hard. You have done what you were taught, and followed your training to a very hard ending for someone. You can even articulate the five W’s of your actions. Who you did it to. What you did. Why you did what you did. When you knew that you had no other option. (what you did) and where you find yourself now. You are going to court and actually have a lawyer that knows how to defend a legal self-defense case (and good luck on finding one of them, not as easy as it would seem).

Do you have anyone to corroborate your statements and if you don’t why not? This is one of the main points that people miss in preparing their court case. You need to have as many people to back up your story as possible. This is where priming the witness pool is an extremely important skill set to add into your toolbox. Now I cannot tell you how to how to do this exactly because each situation is completely unique in how the laws are written in the area and how that they are enforced. So what I am going to do is show you a scenario that I have experienced more times than I would ever care to remember to show you how to do this type of thing and let you research your local laws to fit it to your needs.

On a Saturday night I was working a gentleman decided that he would volunteer for me to get involved in his life. He would sit and drink and then go outside to “cool off” which is code for he went out to do a line of either coke or meth. He would come back in and get louder and louder, more amped up every time. I told him that he was cut off and started to escort him to the door. The waitress approached and handed him his debit card. He tried to head butt her as she handed the card to him. I grabbed him by the collar and jerked him back. Then proceeded to walk him out.

As we approached the door, the gentleman then jerked away and tried to punch the manager that had walked up to assist me. I tripped him into the door frame and he fell to the ground pulling me on top of him. He must have fallen very hard because his head bounced off the floor at least three times, poor man, all the time I was shouting “Please Stop! Don’t do this, you can just leave and no one will hurt you!” I picked him up and walked him out of the door. He then twisted away from me and tried to punch me and fell once again into the concrete post just outside the door, put there to stop people from running their cars into the building.

By this time several people had gathered as I escorted him off the property. He walked across the street to the apartments where he lived and fell onto the curb breaking several ribs in the process. I then proceeded back over the crowd and apologized for what went on. Several people standing there asked me what happened and I explained to them that the gentleman I escorted off the property was a former convict and we had had trouble with him before. He was high on either coke or meth and had tried to head-butt the waitress and punch the manager.

Several of the people standing there talking about the incident admitted to seeing the individual do these things. I again apologized for all the ruckus and I hated that they had to see everything that went on. One of the people that witnessed the events was a retired police officer and he agreed that I handled the situation correctly and he had seen worse things happen like the ones that occurred for 20 something years. I continued to talk to as many people as stayed around and still profusely apologized for them having to see this. As we all walked in I motioned to the head waitress to take several tables some free drinks and tell them again that we were sorry. I also told her to get ready to get those people back outside if the individual called the police. I went back outside to wait.

Sure enough 10 to 15 minutes later the police cars pulled up and a officer hollered at me to get over to the car and place my hands on the hood. I raised my hands and walked over placing my hands on the hood and calmly asked him what this was all about. He told me “Because we received a call about you stomping the shit out of a guy from next door!” I said no sir I did not, I made an individual leave because he was getting to rowdy and disturbing the other patrons. I then went on to tell him what happened and what had all occurred. I also offered to get him the witnesses and have him talk to them.

By this time the manager and the head waitress had walked out and I sent her in to gather up the ones I pointed out. The manager came over to talk to the officer and told him what he saw and the majority of the people came out to tell basically the same story. After everyone had went back into the bar I told the officer that it was not our policy to “tune up” anyone and that we tried to run a quiet and respectable bar. He looked at me and said that he thought something was funny because he had received no call to the place for a long time and figured I was the reason. He left and I finished my shift. As always I snuck out at the end of the night and walked around in the shadows looking for payback but that night there was none. That came later.

If you come back next month I will explain all the things that happened and how you can do the same type of thing. This gives you a bit of time to think about what you read and see what you think about next month’s article.

Tripod – Clint Overland

A buddy of mine asked me to fill in for him at the bar that he works at. No biggie, we cover each other whenever there is a need. It’s a part of being Brothers. I should have turned him down. The night is almost over and everything has gone smooth. No fights, no puking, no blood. It’s all good. The guy that’s playing on stage is a midget, long haired little cat, plays a hell of a guitar and has a great blues voice. What I don’t know is that all night several patrons have been buying him shots of Jaeger. I talked to the bartender later and she said he drank almost an entire bottle by himself.

It’s about that time and I am hollering out LAST CALL. When all of the sudden, this little naked long haired midget runs right by me.

Now let me pause here and say I froze in my tracks. There are times when you can’t move because you are not sure what the hell it is that you saw and you are not sure you know how to deal with it. In my mind, I pull up everything I can remember from every Marc MacYoung and Peyton Quinn book I can remember. Nada, nothing. I look into the old memory file inside my head and, nope, not one thing about dealing with drunken naked midgets. Fifteen years of the violence trade and not one idea of how to deal with a naked hairy midget! Have I got my point across? I was frozen in my tracks. Now back to the story.

He runs right up to a table full of middle aged biker mamas and starts gyrating wildly while they start screaming and laughing hysterically. There I come, like some twisted leather clad version of Frankenstein’s monster, “STOP IT! COMMME HERREEEE YOUUU!!! He zips away from me and runs up to a table of Mexicans. Then does the same thing and everyone is applauding and laughing. I get close enough this time to grab his arm, and he starts flailing away trying to twist out of my grasp. At this point, his gigantic penis slaps me across the shin. Second freeze in less than 2 minutes.

Let me try to put this into perspective for you. He would have needed a blood transfusion to get a full blown hard on or he might have passed out from lack of blood to his brain. It was a trip hazard. He could stand on a pool table and play golf with no hands. Crawl across the desert sands on all fours and leave five tracks. Do you have the picture? It is fucking HUGE!! Gary Lawson, in his Far Side Cartoons, drew one of a guy that worked in the Herpetarium for 20 years and all of a sudden had a cumulative case of the HEEBIE JEEBIES! That is exactly how I felt at that moment. GWAAAA get away get away now!!!

He runs off and after I unfreeze, I start chasing him again. Finally I got close enough to grab a handful of his hair with a straight arm, didn’t want that thing to hit me again. I lead him back to the manager’s office where they bring his clothes to him. It was then I learned that this was not the first time it had happened and that his nickname was TRIPOD.

So folks, don’t think that you won’t freeze just because you have dealt with things in the past. Trust me, it can get weirder than you would ever imagine and if you’re in the violence trades you had better damn sure be able to change gears on the run.

This is something I do not even consider to be one of my worst nights at work. In a Dallas dive bar I watched a man get gutted by a broken beer bottle and had to fight my way through a brawl to get on my knees and hold his intestines in while a fight is going on around me and kick people away so he didn’t die. It took almost 15 minutes for the ambulance to show up all the while the cops are breaking up the fight and I sat there just thankful that someone hadn’t decided to bust a chair over my head or slit my throat while my hands were full. This is a reality check folks, life is a precious commodity and if you want to save yours you need to learn to adapt and adjust to whatever comes your way. How you react as well as respond to a situation can very well mean whether you and others live or die. In my opinion one of the first things a person has to learn to do to be a good Conflict Manager is the ability to think while acting. If you can’t do this find another line of work, it’s a simple as that. One of the best lessons I ever learned from twenty seven years of dealing with drunken, chemically enhanced primates is to read situations not from what was actually happening but from what should be happening and wasn’t .

I would position myself where I could view most of the bar, and what I was looking for was people not having fun, individuals that were drinking alone and acting sad or frustrated. For groups backing away from an area, or moving into tactical position. I would watch for people that might be either blocking the flow of traffic or entrance into bathrooms. Go out some night to a local bar and look for what is happening and what disrupts that flow or what should be happening and isn’t. Then go to a nightclub and sit away from everyone and watch as the same things occur but in a different speed. This gives you a position of experience to draw from. Do the same at a mall or in a crowed venue, each situation has many similarities and will flow the same way if you know what to look for and what not to look for. You should then begin to look into yourself to see how you will or could respond to anything that happens. Remember that the first goal of a good conflict manager is not to outfight people but to outthink them. This is the difference between a Professional and an Amateur, a pro wants to end it as easily as possible a fool wants to fight. It took me 10 years of broken noses and missing teeth to get this point driven into my thick head. The next 17 I spent learning not to fight but to win no matter what it took.

Let me give you another example. Middle aged man walks in one night with a hot 20 something year old woman. I recognize him from another bar across town I used to work at, real asshole that likes to make a fool of himself and show everyone how much of a badass he is. But what I know that he doesn’t is that two days before I saw him with his wife at a local Walmart. I waited a bit and sure enough he starts acting the way I knew he was prone too. I walked up and leaned over and told him “I know your wife.” He stopped everything and left a little later without causing a scene. I won and kept the peace by simple outthinking the person without the use of violence.

I teach young people that want to go into the bouncing trade a list of rules that if they follow to the best of their ability they will be able to survive. My number one rule and this one is as sacred as anything you will ever read or learn and all the other rules lead right back to rule number one.

1.NO MATTER WHAT WE GO HOME TONIGHT!

If that means we have to apologize to someone we hate, we apologize. If we have to act as a priest and hear a confession from someone that disgust us, then we listen. If we have to bust someone in the mouth with a chair then that’s what we have to do but we go home tonight. We will take the easiest win that we can get and by win I mean we live. To be a conflict manager doesn’t meant to be the best fighter or martial artist. It means to use the best tool for the job and the ability to adapt is one of the most important.

Texan Bar Etiquette, Part II – Clint Overland

Part I

Know your limitations. I have had to cut people off that wanted to argue that they are not drunk while piss runs down their leg. (Notice I said people not person, it happens regularly.) I watched as a young sorority girl who was dancing shit herself and just kept dancing till her friends grabbed her and took her out. I was headed that way but couldn’t stop laughing quick enough to get there on time. Drinking is fun, it relaxes you, it help’s deal with stress. I get it. I have been known to imbibe myself heavily at times, but I stay at home to get that fucked up. I won’t even go into the horror stories of watching another human being throw up in a glass then drink it because he was that far gone. If a bouncer, security/bar staff cuts you off, it is for a real good reason. You are a problem or are on your way to becoming a problem. Also, you can and will be cut off for being an asshole. Don’t argue with the staff. You are there as a guest. You can and will be asked to leave. We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone and that includes you! Think about this, do you really want to make someone mad who is going to be serving you something to drink? The head bartender at a bar I worked at kept a vile of what he called Tijuana Tap water behind the bar for patrons that pissed him off. Not real sure what was in it, but two or three squirts in your drink and within fifteen minutes you’re running to the bathroom with the worst case of explosive diarrhea that you’ve ever known short of dysentery. Think about that next time you bitch at a waitress or bartender. Sure, it was illegal but that didn’t help you at the time and your night was ruined all because you were not nice.

Know where you are at. In other words, if you decide to go “slumming” and step away from your socioeconomic level bar and go to a rougher establishment then know the rules that apply there. Every culture and subculture has its own rules that were never written down and posted for you to read but they are there as solid as any law passed by legislation. The joints that pay me my asking price do so because there is a reason for me to be there. I am paid well to keep a lid on the rules and do my best not to let anyone get killed or maimed. If you go to a biker bar, don’t sit on someone’s motorcycle, touch someone’s patch or colors, do not hit on the women, mouth off or disrespect the waitresses. Bikers are territorial and you are the stranger in a strange land. Oh you’re a respected business man and pillar of the community, that’s sweet. See how far that gets you when 8 or 9 guys get mad at you and want to have fun playing field goal with your testicles for crossing a line you didn’t know was there. Be nice, respectful, and polite. Manners do not cost anything and can save hundreds on your health insurance. This goes for any bar or nightclub you might go into. A Hispanic bar is completely different from a club that caters to black or Asian people. Each one has its own rules. The regulars at any bar are protective of the staff. They may even consider them family or friends. My wife bartended in a pretty rough little joint, she was the only staff there during the day but if anyone got out of line with her there were 30 to 40 regulars there that would jump on the offender with no restraint. You are visiting another world when you go to a new bar, and most of the regulars don’t like you for coming into their territory without being asked.

Bartending and waiting tables is a rough job. Long hours, standing on your feet all night, dealing with drunks, people thinking that because you work there they can put hands on you because that is just part of the deal. Listening to crappy bands who mistake playing well for playing hard and loud. Listening to karaoke singers butcher the newest top 40 song or think they can croon like Sinatra. All for less than minimum wage. Hoping that by the end of the night your tips will be enough to cover the rent and electric bill due Monday morning. So please tip your bar staff. It is sad but when I have to interview people to work in a bar and the first thing I ask them is, “So, do you like people?” If they answer yes, then I know they have not been in the business for very long. If they answer, “I hate people!” I know this is someone that has some experience, and can probably do the job correctly. Do not holler at your waitress, or act like a bitch to them (LADIES)! Whistling, shouting and demanding is not a good thing to do. All they have to do is come and get me and your ass is out of here. I don’t care who you are, what you think or if you can have me fired (good luck on that). Don’t be an asshole! A good tipper can get away with a lot more than a shitty one. Waitresses are less prone to involve me in your life if you are taking care of them.

Don’t prod the bear!!! I am talking to you young guys who by chance might read this. You’re young, full of life and testosterone. You think you are tough and can handle yourself. Probably not! There are individuals in every bar that it is best to leave the hell alone. They will hurt you as quick as a snake strikes for messing with them. Youthful exuberance is one thing. All that Martial Arts and BJJ/MMA you do at the dojo is great. None of it will stop a bullet from blasting through your heart or a broken beer bottle from ripping out your throat. Life is a marathon, not a 40 yard dash. Men and some women of a certain age got there by being tough, and/or smart, maybe even lucky. They do not have the time nor the patience to deal with you. Being older does not mean that they are any less of a man. It means they were smarter (or just luckier) than all the friends they had to bury along the way. There is a reason that some people are referred to as OG (Original Gangster), Tusk Hogs, Bad Men and other terms. If you are going to be frequenting certain bars, you need to learn that respect and courtesy is a lot cheaper to give than paying for hospital visits or funerals.

One bar I worked at was frequented by an older gentleman that had lived a very interesting life. He was so mobbed up that people would still call him Don as a term of respect. He never got mad, he paid people like me to get mad for him. The guys in his employ did not care who you were, what you thought you knew or what Martial Art you trained in. One would beat you with a hammer while the other one tried to punch your kidney throw your torso.

Leave the Bouncer/Security staff alone guys. They have a tough enough job to do. They are watching 300 plus drunken monkeys play grab ass with each other. It’s not a fun and glorious job. It’s a nerve wracking headache every shift. You are hoping that no one gets stupid and puts a knife in your kidney. They don’t need you there asking questions or pestering them.

Now let me try and answer a few of the questions I get.

No, we don’t want your help. If you come up to the bouncer and tell him you have his back in a fight you have just red flagged yourself as a trouble maker. You are looking for a way to fight without getting into trouble. The first thing I will do is from that point on is keep my eye on you and see what kind of bullshit you are up to.

No you don’t have to be big to be a bouncer, and no, just because you are big does not mean you can bounce. It is people skills and critical thinking that makes a good bouncer. 95% talk 5% ass puckering terror not knowing if you are going to go home that night.

Yes they are tougher than you. Most bouncers fight more than the average patrol cop. So trying to prove that you are tougher than them is a losing bet. Plus, with a bouncer it is not about social dominance it is just business and the quicker it is over the better for everyone. As Ron White said, “I don’t know how many it would have took but I knew how many they were going to use. All of them”.

You have to volunteer for the bouncer to get involved in your life. Your actions and behaviors at the bar are all signs, and believe me, they’re watching. Just like a poker game certain things you do, tell them what you are capable of or thinking of doing.

It’s not personal. Asking you to leave or cutting you off is just business. Don’t come after them when the night is over. Sure you may win but you will go to jail or, on another night you might meet a bouncer that remembers…and paybacks a bitch.

Leave your ego behind. Who you are, what you are, and what you can do are just red flags. WE DO NOT CARE!

Show your ID when asked, it’s the law, even if several people ask for it, the bar is simply covering their investment.

No you are not my friend. You are a patron and a customer. Friends are earned; not just because you drink where I work.

This is a business. Just like a grocery store or a Walmart, the bottom line is it’s about money. Don’t interrupt the flow of it. If you do be prepared to either pay the cost of a good old fashion ass whipping, being banned/barred from the club or going to jail.

If the bouncer or security staff are looking for a fight and are known to be quick to hurt a person, don’t frequent that place. Call and complain to the owner or the management. Tell your friends and family not to spend their money there. It can and will make a difference. A security staff that is prone to violence is usually an underpaid bunch of bullies looking to get their rocks off in a fight. Use your money to force the owners into bringing in a better quality of staff. Red Adair said it best, “If you think it’s expensive to hire a professional wait till you figure out the cost of hiring an amateur!” As a bouncer my number one job was being a conflict manager. It’s hard enough dealing with you shit slinging primates when you are sober, Add alcohol or drugs into the mix and WEEEEE you go from just an asshole to God I really want to skull fuck this twerp in his eye socket. But I am there to protect the owner’s investment, so I am going to do my absolute best to treat you correctly and be nice to you till you choose the course of actions that it will take for you to either calm down or be thrown out. But I will get you out of the establishment one way or another. And chances are I know the cops on patrol and guess whose side they are going to take.

Look folks it’s really easy to die or get hurt in this world. In the long run you and your safety are up to you. You can be the greatest conflict manager in the world and act like an ass-hat one time and wind up with your guts on a dance floor. Nobody ever wanted that but I will be dammed if I haven’t seen guys volunteer for it.

Texan Bar Etiquette, Part I – Clint Overland

After 26 years of dealing with drunks, drug addicts, Tusk Hogs (power drinkers who function at a higher level of intoxication and enjoy violence), and almost every other type of human refuse, I want to share with you ten simple things not to do in order to keep you as safe as you can be when confronted with a situation in a bar or night club. Is this a guarantee that you will be safe? No but it damn sure will not hurt.

Don’t let your alligator mouth overload your jaybird ass. In other words, your ego will be the main impediment to your safety when dealing with a drunk or violent person in a bar. Smart ass comments are best saved for a time after you are safe and away from the threat. I have heard it said that you should never assume anything about a situation. I am calling bullshit on that. Always assume that this can go from a small ego, dick size contest to a straight out life and death scenario with the wrong thing being said at the wrong time. Your safety is at stake. Remember that it’s not always what you say that gets your teeth and head knocked in, it’s in the tone and the delivery that people hear more so than words. Being sarcastic has led more people to the joys of broken noses than any other thing I have seen.

I’ve overheard drunks time and time again telling each other what they’re going to do when it’s time to get down to business. DO NOT DO THIS!!! You have just created a group of witnesses for any legal problems that may arise from the situation. If you tell another human being that you’re going to kill, injure, or hurt them in any way, you have just stepped on your own dick or your own tits ladies. It is no longer a self-defense issue, but one of consensual combat and disorderly conduct at the least. One episode I was a witness to involved ass hat 1 threatening to kill ass hat 2 if he ever saw him again. This was in front of 30 people. Ass hat 2 left and waited outside with a gun and later shot ass hat 1 when he went to his car. The police interviewed 12 or 13 of us and the DA didn’t prosecute due to the threat having been made earlier.

That does not mean that you shouldn’t give warning when you feel that you are in danger, it means don’t brag or boast about what you are going to do.

For fucks sake, don’t tell someone who you are. They don’t care! Don’t warn them about the dangers of dealing with you. If things go south let it be a surprise. I have heard people, mostly men, but sometimes women, tell me, “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM.” (My two standard replies are “No, don’t you?” and “Yea, my next victim!”) You are trying to use social pressure, fear, and intimidation as an ego/threat boost. 9 times out of 10 this will get you punched in the mouth quicker than a straight insult. You are trying to show that you are someone special, you are not. What you have done is throw down a challenge and an insult to the other person. “I am better than you and you need to bow down to that fact and accept your place as beneath me on the social hierarchy. “ That, my friend, is a great way to learn the joy of shitting your teeth out the next morning.

One other thing, don’t go around telling people who your daddy or husband is unless they are capable of backing up your statements. One of my pet peeves as a bouncer is when individuals throw that kind of statement into my face. If your father, husband, grandpa or whatever, is a real heavy hitter then you won’t need to let others know about it. It will be shared for you without you making a fool of yourself.

Don’t draw attention to yourself. Go in, have a good time, don’t be an idiot. Shouting, whistling, and raising hell are a great way to draw attention to yourself, not only from the bouncers/security staff, but also of the Great White sharks swimming in the waters with you. Despite what you believe (and most of that is wrong by the way), there are those that are looking forward to hurting you. Acting up and drawing attention to yourself is a great way to chum the waters. I watched one man take a beer bottle across his eye (he lost it) because he wouldn’t stop yelling at the band. The man in front of him finally had enough of it, turned around and smashed a bottle into his face, rupturing his eye. It happened without warning, but the signs were all there if you were aware enough to read them. Contrary to popular belief, it is possible to have a good time and enjoy life without being the center of attention for others to enjoy.

I really would like to talk to you ladies who are reading this. You are ultimately responsible for your own safety. Just because you live a certain way during the day, do not mistake that the same rules apply to a bar or nightclub. You are swimming with sharks every time you go out for a good time. There is a certain segment of society that only looks at you as if you are prey and they do not care about you or your so called rights as a person.

I have been amazed over and over again at the way some women choose to act. Yes you can dress any way you want to, yes you can choose to act like a drunken idiot for however many times you can get away with it. I am not going to argue that point but when you have to reap the rewards of your actions do not bitch about it. And no I am not talking about rape. I am talking about you getting your ass handed to you for crossing the line with another woman a lot meaner and tougher than you are. I watched a middle class woman think it would be great to give a guy she didn’t know a lap dance right in front of his wife. The wife worked as a lineman for a power company climbing electric poles all day every day doing hard labor. The wannabe dancer was a clerk in a retail jewelry store who had never been in a real fight her entire life. By the time I and the rest of the staff got there, roughly 5 seconds, dancer girl had her teeth knocked out, eye socket broke and a coffee mug diameter size chunk of hair and scalp pulled out. You think 5 seconds is not a long time try being on the receiving end of an educational beat down.

Your actions will lead to certain results, maybe not the 1st time or the 100th time but there will be a cost. In addition, please stop acting like a stripper, save that for the bedroom or go get a job working the pole somewhere. I’m sorry if you need to find attention from a large group of people and think that is the way to do it. All you are doing is making a fool of yourself and like lesson number 4 you are drawing that attention from possibly the wrong crowd. Trust me, if we wanted to see that we would be at a strip club watching real strippers! It also cuts down on the attention that the real creepy guys want to pay you. Also stop being a drunken cunt please. You’re at the bar as a customer and yes they are trying to bring you what you ordered. You being a snotty demanding bitch not only pisses off you server (notice I did not say servant or slave) but will go nothing but worse service or your drink being stirred with a dick, or finger that’s been up someone’s asshole.

Part II

Why “Textbook” Bystander Intervention Training Can Get You Beaten and Killed – Clint Overland and Erik Kondo

I recently came across a news story about a male college student in Iowa intervening when he perceived a group of men were sexually harassing a woman. Consequently, the man ended up in the hospital with multiple injuries when the group of men attacked him. According to an interviewed “expert” on Bystander Intervention training, the young man had acted in “textbook” fashion. He had done everything right.

Read or listen to the full story here:
http://iowapublicradio.org/post/isu-student-severely-injured-after-intervening-street-harassment

While I applaud this man for his courage and willingness to step up to help a woman in distress, in my opinion, the man actually engaged in conflict mis-mangement. In order to bring more knowledge to this issue, I turned to a true expert in the field of conflict management. One who deals regularly with drunk, belligerent, dangerous men and women on a nightly basis – Clint Overland.

Erik: “Regarding the incident as outlined in the news story, what is your interpretation of what happened?”

Clint: “As I read the news accounts and watched the videos from the news, the Victim seemed to want to do the right thing and stop the harassment of a young woman by a group of 8 or 9 men. But, he didn’t have a clue as to what he was doing, and who knows if it wasn’t a setup ambush. I have seen things like this occur in bars over and over again played out with different scenarios. Ambushes like this work because they play on peoples need to do the right thing.”

Erik: “In your opinion what did the victim do wrong?”

Clint: “First of all, let’s start with the Victims size – tall and lanky. He probably hasn’t been in many altercations of extreme violence. His size has always been a factor used for intimidation. He has backed people down in the past because he was taller and possibly stronger than a lot of individuals.

Now, he interfered in a Group Monkey Dance with an unknown tribe of primates. I do not know or can’t say that he shouldn’t have stepped in, but there are damn sure smarter ways to do it. Also he trusted that the attackers would do the right thing according to His own (the Victims) socioeconomic back ground and raising. He used the wrong script for the right reasons. Maybe he has been in a past situation similar to the one that got him beat and the previous script worked. This is a different group with different unknowns.”

Erik: “Specifically, what else could he have done?”

Clint: “The Victim should have called the police immediately. 911 is your friend in these situations. He could have saved himself an ass whipping by calling the cops, speaking clearly and point out what was going on. Give all the info he had at the time and the numbers of individuals involved. He needed to start yelling at the top of his lungs while the police were on the line, “I HAVE CALLED THE POLICE AND THEY ARE ON THEIR WAY”. Then he needed to start hollering for help from other individuals. He could have also enlisted the help of any friends at hand or any store owners close by to call the police. There is safety in numbers when it comes to dealing with predators. The more there are of you, the safer you become.”

Erik: “How would you have handled the situation given the circumstances?”

Clint: “This is a hard question because I really don’t know all of the information. I have been in a few similar situations. One involved a group of frat rats and a girl who had passed out drunk at the bar. They wanted to take her and fuck her. I said, “No, they needed to leave”. Their response was that “there is one of you and 12 of us, so how you going to stop us?” I told them, “I would kill as many as I could before I went down”.

They didn’t want to play in that game. Also, I carry several guns, and other “things” most of the time, and I practice with them regularly. I am not afraid to use them. I also do understand the cost that using force can incur. I have a good lawyer, a bail bondsman, and several intimidating friends. I damn sure would not have walked in the midst of them trying to reason with them. That is being a lamb walking into its own slaughter. Much too many variables to understand and watch at one time. If at all possible, I would have called the police, and called out for help. If that didn’t work, shoot the first few.”

Erik: “Regarding the interview with Mentors in Violence, what is your opinion of the advice being given on Bystander Intervention for these types of situations?”

Clint: “These egghead feel good fellows are going to get someone seriously hurt or killed. They are trying to teach people how to cook a meal when changing the tire is what is required. Wrong tools and wrong skills for the job. Violence is neither good nor bad. It is simply a tool, same as a gun or a knife. It has a specific use and it is the individual’s use of it that sets the theme.

A guy robbing a bank uses a gun to kill one of the customers is then shot and killed by another customer or police officer. Same tools, same results, different reasons. The information given in the interview is good IF and only If it is used in the correct settings. It will not work for every situation or scenarios. Different rules for different settings. Trying that upper class social pressure on certain groups of people will get your ass stomped flat like this kid found out. In my opinion, and again I am no doctor or scientist, just a beat up middle aged bouncer. The info that is being passes around as a godsend by these folks is pure bullshit. It won’t work in every situation and shouldn’t be taught that it will work.”

Erik: “What do you think is harmful about the advice?”

Clint: “Look guys, violence isn’t always the answer, but it damn sure needs to be included in the possible outcome. Don’t get all butt hurt when someone refuse to listen to reason. 90% of my job as a bouncer is listening to people and reading situations. People skills are an asset in any situation. Sympathy, logic and reason can be a great stabilizing force, but so is a framing hammer or a shotgun. These eggheads are trying to get people to be NON violent. Our very nature as human beings is violent. Civilization and all of its blessings are based upon the idea of law and order. How it is impressed on people is through the threat of violence in some form or fashion. Whether it is the police and legal system, or a military force. What we need to be focusing on is the idea that violence is just a tool. We need to all become skilled in the use of that tool.

People are more afraid of making my wife mad than they are of pissing me off. Why? Because she is a calming influence on me. But they understand that if they offend or hurt her in any way, all she has to say is that it’s OK for me to follow my baser instincts. Which can include an old tire, a can of gasoline, and a lighter, if the situation needs it.

I am not afraid to say that we need to quit teaching women to be weaker, and teach them to be meaner and more dangerous. My daughter was accosted by a patron in a bar where she was working. She straight told the guy that “she would cut him from his balls to his brisket if he said one more word” and she meant it. Then, she told her regular customers. They expressed their anger outside, away from cameras. Violence was used and situation was solved.

Erik: “. How would you advise people differently?

Clint: “Folks, I am not, and never will be a proponent of VIOLENCE as the only answer that works. It’s not. Life is made up of skills and tools. Whether it is cooking a frittata or baking a cake, both take place in the kitchen, but use different methods and skills to do it correctly. You wouldn’t try and scramble the eggs with a tire iron, or cut the cake with a pistol. All tools and all skills have their place. To be a complete and rounded person, you need to have as many tools and skill available as possible. I tell my kids it’s great to have a big tool box with everything you need put away in its correct place and available to use.

Erik: “Anything else you would like to say?”

Clint: “There is, and always will be, a need to talk and negotiate with other people. But there will, and always will be, a need for the correct application of violence. I see too many people, who think that because they grew up, or become accustom to the way things are in their realm, that it is the same in every other place. Doesn’t work that way. Each social and economic class, and subclass, has its own rules and own way of doing things. When you step outside the class that you are comfortable with, you find yourself playing a game where you do not know all the rules. Here is where your tool box comes in very handy.”

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When it comes to conflict management, there are number of considerations to keep in mind. When you, as an outsider to a Group, use certain words to “command” a Group, such as “Chill out”, it is likely that the Group will backlash against your command. This is particularly so, if the Group consists of young men from another tribe, late at night, in the presence of a female(s), alcohol has been consumed, and you have no backup.

Were the men wrong to harass the woman and attack the man? Yes, absolutely, they were to blame. But being blameless doesn’t make your injuries heal any faster. Being blameless, doesn’t bring you back from the dead. Being blameless, doesn’t help you handle situations differently in the future. Shaking hands with someone is not a de-escalation strategy if his plan is to suck you into an ambush.

If you intervene in a situation of harassment with the goal of teaching a social lesson about the importance of respect, you must understand that you subject yourself to being the recipient of a different social lesson. This lesson runs along the lines of “mind your own business”, and “don’t interfere with our Group affairs”. Therefore, as Clint mentioned, it is important to understand the dynamics of the situation. What are the rules that the Group lives by? What happens if you break their rules? Are you subjecting yourself to an Educational Beatdown combined with a Group Monkey Dance?

Safely teaching a social lesson requires that you to be backed up by some authority. Why else would the other party listen to your lesson when it directly interferes with what he or she wants to do? For a variety of reasons, intervening as one college boy to another is vastly different than intervening as a college boy to a group of “country” men.

Bystander Intervention training that does not include education on how violence is used and violence dynamics can easily morph into the teaching of conflict mis-management. It has the very real potential of leading to situations that end badly.